Damn, I wish I was your lover
by Ravenous Silentside
Summary: -FINALE UP- In a magical night and the moon above, can a case of mistaken identity lead to true love? ::shonen-ai:: ::IrvinexKarl/Thomas plus an OC. Pls R and R! ^^
1. Beginning

Note: Standard disclaimer apply ^_^. Anyway now that I've written this, what am I THINKING? This is an oddment of a pairing shall I say, Karl x Irvine (and later Thomas)? And I can't think of a Jap title for this one (which is usually my trademark). But I think this pairing is pathetic and cute. Read on. Sorry no lemon yet---  
  
Damn, I wish I was your lover  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
Imperial Quarters-  
  
"How in the world did we end up with all of this useless supply?" Karl Licthen Schubaltz muttered to himself. Ever since the war ended, the job of a military officer became less than thrilling. Instead of commandeering positions in the battlefield and planning military tactics, he is checking out materials and shipments going in and out in the base for the maintenance unit for the zoids used in patrolling the borders. He would like to patrol out sometime for the heck of it, but he was burdened by the responsibility of looking after their ballooning expenses and tightening budget. Indeed, they have won the battle but lost the war. All the damages incurred and losses were yet to be all answered, at this rate they are going, even His Majesty may end up having a lot of debt.  
  
"Good morning, Karl."  
  
With his busy schedule checking cargo, Karl was easily supplanted with irritation. There are some people who forget their military ethics, and he is getting tired of reminding them. But he was surprised to hear it does not come from Thomas. It was Irvine.  
  
He is lying outside the warehouse, just by the next one and he was laying down a bench perched in front of it.  
  
The sun was falling on him, and he could see that Irvine was barefoot and wore no shirt. Karl quickly averted his eyes from the tanned half-naked torso. It was all he could do to make himself respond.  
  
"It is COLONEL Karl Schubaltz to you." He answered stiffly. He does not like it when men like Irvine always exude a smart-alecky sensuality. At least that's what he thought, although he can't think of anything he'd ever said or done that could be considered rude or indecent. It was just----he didn't have much exposure around with this kind of people, but he was certain he knew Irvine's type---dangerous. Too earthy, too unrefined. He chanced another peek at him from his cap shading his green eyes: Irvine's spiky brownish hair is too rough and was bounded by an orange bandana; hanging around messily to his face. Except now, it was fanned around his head on the planks of the bench. He was quite tall, too wide at the shoulders and broad across the chest. With an exception of one magnifying patch, both eyes were too gray.  
  
Everything about him is too much, in Karl's opinion. Well what would he expect from the former rouge anyway? He certainly has a lot of rough edges, and a not so refined etiquette, a person who lives in his own rules. No wonder he and Thomas banter so often, the two are just opposites, and he could see it now.  
  
"Nice day, isn't it Colonel, sir?" Irvine remarked laconically, lifting his head and shading those gray eyes to stare at him.  
  
The ashen blonde nodded curtly and returned his attention to shipping lists, although he didn't see a single word "Mr. Irvine, it hardly seems proper for you to be out in public-----like that." Karl gestured in his general direction.  
  
He glanced around at the backs of the headquarters, and the military storage supplies and piles of broken down zoids about to be fixed. "This isn't exactly what I'd call public. I was back here minding my own business and you came to take a look." Irvine's tone made it sound as though Karl was the one in the wrong. "Besides, I don't think you even know how to break in a new pair of rough slacks."  
  
"I beg your pardon----" he began, flipping his gaze off the list to look at him.  
  
"Well, if you're out there roughing it, you gotta get yourself a nice pair of heavy duty slacks. I'd expect that some soldier would have told you the best way to make them fit right. You have to put them on and go for a dunk with your zoid in a battlefield, then get yourself in a trough afterwards, then lie in the sun till they're dry."  
  
He took another quick peek at him, just in time to see him turn over on the bench, presumably to dry the backs of the pants. The muscles in his arms and shoulders flexed with the effort.  
  
"I should think that would be most uncomfortable." Karl replied with prim disapproval. Why he was continuing this indecent conversation, he wondered.  
  
"Oh, it's not so bad without underwear."  
  
A scorching heat crept up Karl's throat and continued to his scalp. With not another word, he made a hasty retreat to near the storage room. Obviously, Irvine did not take life very seriously if he could loll around, wasting time on such a trivial task. To have someone like THAT working with the GF team along with Van Flyheight----of all people.  
  
Karl forced his thoughts back to the papers in his hand. What had he been looking for? Oh yes, there it was on the shipping list: Three boxes of mechanical parts and some computer related gadgetry. He knew the imperial head quarters didn't order it; he made a run down of the list a day ago. The military had no practical use of that item these days; they needed things and materials to keep up with the maintenance of their units. They don't have time to install some useless equipment and other gewgaws, not now, the succeeding battles that happened have already nearly crippled their budget. And having something that they didn't order is practically a waste of good money. If he haven't ordered those things---who could have---  
  
"Lt. Thomas Schubaltz," he called. "Would you come here, immediately?"  
  
A moment later, Thomas appeared by the entrance. Although twenty two, Karl's younger brother had never lost the bouncing, enthusiastic energy that he had as a boy. His eyes fell upon the boxes that Karl pointed out, and holding one metallic device in his palm.  
  
"Oh, Karl, the orders came---isn't it great?" he grinned, delight suffusing his features. With his darker blonde hair and emerald green eyes, he had a delicate, almost feminine beauty that they both share. Karl's own coloring was more vivid, but he lacked his younger brother's luminous sparkle. As their mother once pointed out, nature had saved the best for her youngest son.  
  
"Did you order this? I was hoping it was a mistake. You know we had a strict budget policy these days, Thomas." Karl said, putting the items back into the box. "You know we won't be able to use this."  
  
Thomas walked into the storage room, plucked one item from the box, and unwound the length of it. Plenty of wires, Karl noticed.  
  
"Yes we will," Thomas replied emphatically. "We can use this to upgrade and custom some---"  
  
"Well we don't. We should prioritize maintenance first than your useless gadgets and your other gewgaws" He snapped. "I want them shipped back early evening, lieutenant. Is that understood?"  
  
It came harsher than intended, and he can see the sudden disappointment in Thomas' eyes, and his smile slowly faded. But Karl has to do his job. "Well, whatever you say Kar---I mean, Colonel Sir."  
  
"Make sure you do."  
  
"I've done something wrong, haven't I?" he sighed, Thomas is always like that, he could be so insecure a lot of times and is in always need of assurances. Maybe it's the sibling complex, but whatever it is, Karl forced a small smile to try to tell him it's no big deal.  
  
"Don't worry, you'll catch on. I know more about this matters because I spent so much time working here as an officer." As a matter of fact, he loved it there. He lived under oath of the imperial army for some quite time, that nothing matters to him now BUT to be a well-responsible officer. Even if he has to stay all day and do the stupid daily routine of checking important military cargo. He missed the thrill of fighting in the battlefield somehow---  
  
Karl glanced at the watch on his wrist, "Goodness, its nine o'clock already. You better go open the front gates and get the other soldiers to open the other doors. I'll be out in a few minutes. I just need to finish sorting out this new stock."  
  
With his natural and good temperament restored, Thomas smiled, made a salute and turned to follow his instructions. He stopped suddenly, and said over his shoulder, "You just wait and see, Karl. I'll bet we are going to make a lot of practical use of those 'gewgaws' you called, and the military would have to order some more!"  
  
Karl let out a surprising laugh and shook his head. A moment later he heard Thomas open the doors, and a cool breeze filled the ware house. He leaned into another crate and plowed through the woody-smelling excelsior, searching for the receipts of the toolkit materials the army ordered. While he wondered why the small items were always annoyingly packed with tubs of Styrofoam balls, he heard a voice of a female attendant coming from the front of the warehouse. Must be one of Dr. Dee's subordinates, the colonel thought.  
  
Suddenly he heard an ear-splitting scream that seemed to shake the very crates. It propelled Karl upright as though he have springs in his back.  
  
What the---  
  
Another scream rang out, followed by another shrieking and a sound of smashing crates and clanging metal. Footsteps thumped across the cemented ground. Karl ran to the doorway that separated the storage room to the warehouse, just in time to see a weird purple shape fly past his face.  
  
The attendant was cringing in one side, staring fixedly as though turned stone. Her face had taken on a sickly gray cast, and held one hand clamped to her bosom.  
  
The creature, which looks like a small wild zoid, perched on the counter next to small fragile boxes in the shelves of the storage area. Its movements were quick and jerky, that what Karl can assess is that it looks like a small organoid---only purple. With front paws resembling that of a small tiger cub's, it pried off open a small box, chewing the contents inside with its metal mouth, gnashing it with it's paws and teeth at everyone present.  
  
"Bro---" Thomas gasped. His red mark was sudden very apparent on his pale ashen face. "What the hell is that thing? Is that a wild zoid? I never seen such like it----" he paused, "It might be dangerous!"  
  
Karl couldn't say for certain. He too stared at it, his mouth open. "I'm not sure, I never seen---"  
  
At that moment, Irvine came running through the back door, carrying a gunbelt in one hand and a revolver in the other. He shouldered the colonel out of the way and stood in front of him. Seeing Irvine, the little mischievous zoid scampered down the shelves on all fours, then leaped to another high shelf and bared metallic teeth at him. It grunted angrily, and let out a metallic shriek, it's face which resembles that of a ferocious organoid.  
  
"I heard someone scream---What kind of wild zoid is that?" Irvine stood as dumbstruck as the others.  
  
Thomas didn't budge; he is too surprised to answer that he could hardly find his voice. "I-I think it's a wild zoid. Never seen one like THAT before."  
  
Irvine lifted his revolver and trained it on the zoid who was now investigating the scattered crates, throwing everything to the wall and to the floor like a two year old with a tantrum. Crates shattered, materials are scattered and broken and other import goods that were supposedly the supply for the WHOLE month. Clouding the air with dust. Suddenly the wild zoid let out a long annoying screech that beat any noise that Karl have ever heard at his long career as an officer in the battlefield.  
  
"Irvine, for Zi's sake, put that gun away!" Karl demanded, "You'll just be careless enough to shoot one of us!"  
  
Irvine cocked the revolver and extended it, his hand steady, his jaw set. "Colonel Sir, I'm a better shot than that. How do you know that thing might kill any of you?"  
  
Both brothers green eyes widened.  
  
Hearing his words, the female attendant collapsed to the floor in a dead faint, and Thomas caught her in his arms, and began lightly slapping the attendant's face. The only calm one in the room is Irvine. He took an aim with his revolver.  
  
"I've got you know you little piece of horsesh---"  
  
"Hold your fire, Irvine!" A cultured voice thundered through the warehouse.  
  
Karl turned around; Irvine lowered the weapon. All eyes turned to a small balding man with white long hair. His sudden appearance was as astounding as the wild zoid.  
  
"Dr. Dee?"  
  
"Esmeralda!" he commanded as he stepped forward, his pale eyes burning with fire. The wild zoid suddenly stopped and dropped everything else,  
  
Irvine turned his head, "ESMERALDA?" he asked, lifting his eyebrows.  
  
The zoid, no longer defiant, skittered down from its perch. Her master held out both arms, and she scrambled to his shoulder, gripping his shirt collar. Her long metallic tail hung down his arm like a snake.  
  
"Esmeralda, I'm disappointed! You have been exceedingly naughty. You are a bad girl."  
  
The small zoid showed no signs of contrition. It simply chewed on a piece of wood that she grabbed from one of the broken crates.  
  
Dr. Dee could see the upset reaction from the colonel, and immediately offered his reply. "Allow me to apologize for Esmeralda. As you can see she is a wild zoid. My search team found her among the ruins and took her at the lab for study. It seems she is a different breed of a young organoid. She seems to be pretty lively and I think she finds the warehouse as a nice playground."  
  
There was something annoying about the Doctor apologizing for the zoid as though it were a child. But Karl's upbringing, trained to keep his emotion in check, would not allow him to say anything rash and impolite.  
  
"Well, Dr Dee I want to congratulate you for your new discovery, BUT this isn't a playground." The colonel replied stiffly, quite upset of the losses. "All those stocks are not yet used, and they are reserves good for one month---."  
  
"Doctor," Irvine, who apparently had no such reticence, said, "I assume you're planning to make good on the damages that 'discovery' of yours caused."  
  
"Doctor Dee." Karl admonished in a harsh whisper. He gave Irvine a severe look before turning to help Thomas with the fainted attendant. The colonel didn't appreciate being championed by the shirtless, barefooted man in wet slacks. Yet, he had to admit that a significant amount of damage had been done. It would take most of the morning to clean things up, and more than just the merchandise was lost. Who would pay to replace the glass shield replacements for the patrolling zoids?  
  
Dr. Dee rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Colonel, Irvine here makes a valid point. Certainly, you shall be recompensed for all damages. You have only to give me a figure." He withdrew a slim pouch from his over coat, and drew out some folds of bank check slips.  
  
Karl glanced up and pushed the strands of hair that had worked loose from his cap. "Well, if you insist---"  
  
"Now, now, it would be fine with me Col. Schubaltz. I insist on reimbursing you for Esmeralda's prank." Dr. Dee took out a slip and a pen, ready to write the figure and looked at him expectantly.  
  
The colonel leaned back to sit on a chair and sighed, considered the litter of the broken stock. "I suppose---10,000 imperial dollars would be alright?"  
  
"30,000 imperial dollars is more realistic." Irvine puts in, keeping a wary un-patched eye on 'Esmeralda'. He still gripped at his revolver, although it hung at his side.  
  
Karl's lowered his brows at him. Why didn't he just go back to drying his slacks and let him handle this? For a man of reportedly few words, he certainly didn't hesitate to offer his opinion. This was especially galling because he knew he was right. Well this smart-aleck rouge wouldn't tell him what to do.  
  
"10,000 will be fine, Dr. Dee." The colonel glared at Irvine, feeling as defiant as Esmeralda. Irvine gave Karl one final look, then shrugged and walked out taking his gun with him.  
  
*****  
  
Irvine padded up stairs to his sparse second floor living quarters to change from his damp slacks. He rummaged through the clothes hanging on the brooks behind the door, looking for a clean pair of pants.  
  
That pinched-up Colonel Karl Schubaltz could put any person in a sour mood, he thought. Talking to him was like trying to free the trigger on a pistol that had been rusting in the weather: when you finally have the damned thing loose, you still had a rusty gun.  
  
He supposed if he wanted to lose money just to have his own way, he shouldn't care. After the last few years, Irvine had been glad to find this quiet corner of the world, thanks to Van Flyheight. But he didn't expect that the young lieutenant and the blonde zoidian will marry right after the fall of Hiltz. Now he was left in the mercy of the rigid imperial colonel who he see checking cargos each and every other day.  
  
Oh, he was all right to look at, he'd give him that. With his whiskey-blond crown of hair often hidden by an officer cap, and eyes that are wide and purest of green jade, sometimes it would turn to emerald, depending on the mood he is in. He wasn't a soft and engaging man, like his pretty lil' brother---the Lieutenant Thomas Schubaltz. Now HE was a man Irvine have considered knowing much better. He smiled smugly in memory that how he and Thomas often so banter in small useless arguments, that in one moment, just to silence him, he gave him one deep kiss. It came to a shock at first, but the lieutenant kissed him back softly. They have been 'good' friends ever since, and there are torrid encounters---most often a result from a heated debate. Maybe fighting and arguing endlessly became something like a strange fascinating turn ON for them. He recalled a strange incident how Thomas would get turned on when he takes him down roughly, the blonde always shouts in German at the height of passion. At one time he moaned, 'Ja, ja---du starker gaul!' which Irvine later learned means, 'yes, yes--- ride me dark stallion.'  
  
But Karl is also interesting in his own strong silent way, until he opened his mouth. Irvine shook his head, picturing the astringent colonel with nothing but only his Iron Kong MK II for his companion for the rest of his life. The almost mechanic pair would be perfect for each other. Noticing he is getting already a raging hard on just thinking about Thomas and his rock of a brother, Karl, Irvine stripped off the damp slacks and laid them over a chair. He would have liked it dry completely, but he couldn't loaf around any longer, he had work to do. He'd lost enough time day dreaming and dealing with the crazy so-called freakish organoid Dr. Dee have discovered.  
  
Irvine paused for a moment and looked at his open right hand, then closed it into a fist. When he pointed the revolver at that zoid, he hadn't hesitated for a second. His aim had been steady, and if the doctor hadn't come in when he did, Irvine knew he would have squeezed the trigger.  
  
But shooting an organoid wasn't the same as killing a man.  
  
****  
  
Doctor Dee agreed to Karl's price with obvious reluctance. Karl knew he had been silly to insist that he pay him only 10,000 dollars, but he could hardly renege. Without the other soldiers around, and mostly are either in patrol and security, He and Thomas are the one left to spend the rest of the morning sweeping and mopping--- some backbreaking work he haven't done for sometime now. The air is heavy, fogged with shredded wood dust.  
  
"Kar--- I mean Colonel Sir, do you think the organoid has something to do with tomorrow being the summer solstice?" Thomas posed, "You know, funny things seem to happen around here in Midsummer's Eve. Last year, I saw Raven's geno breaker by the country side and he is walking in the midnight festival. AND he is carrying his and Ryss' baby."  
  
Karl lifted an eyebrow, and reached under the lower ledge of a shelf to grab a big rolling metal ball bearing. "How can you even be sure that those two will even have a BABY?"  
  
"It got Raven's hair and Ryss' eyes. But it is strange because it resembles Van. Maybe it is true that you can make the baby look like someone if you're thoroughly obsessed with a person."  
  
Karl frowned, "Maybe you are just seeing them. Strange things don't happen ALWAYS in midsummer's eve."  
  
"I suppose you are right Karl---" he mumbled, "But---hey, don't you think its gallant of Irvine to come and come to our rescue this morning?"  
  
Karl could see faint color staining Thomas cheeks, he KNOWS what is going on between his little brother and Irvine, but he hardly speaks about it. But now is too much already. Irvine appeared in Karl's mind as he'd seen him this morning: stretched out on that bench, bone and hard-sculpted muscle in that----naked display. He thumped the dustpan in front of Thomas, to shake him off the reverie.  
  
"Bosh! You are saying that Thomas because Irvine pumped you with a good dose of sunshine!" He rubbed his nose, and then he realized that it probably left a streak of dusting powder on it. Thomas is now looking at him strangely, then realization hits him, and his face grew to an intense fiery red, unable to meet his emerald gaze.  
  
"Y-you knew?"  
  
"Don't get any ideas about him, Thomas. His not the kind of man a nice guy like you should get mixed up with."  
  
I mean---he seems like a gentle man, way back there if you get to know him well." Thomas amended hastily, "Why, don't you like him?"  
  
Why indeed? Karl thought, dumping the rest of the trash in a bucket. How could one resist a man who has too much of everything?  
  
-continued- 


	2. Moonlight

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
Note:: Please read::  
  
We all heard of midsummer night right? Well there is one here in Zi, a little event so I can make the PAIRINGS possible even how odd they are *frowns* Yes, I know! Its so f**king unbelievable, I like unconventional things! Well, that's the challenge of it. ANOTHER important note, there is an OC in the fiction, called Leon. The character I borrowed from author Colonel-sama's works (If you are familiar with her works and that character, then lucky you. BECAUSE I won't be explaining about that character later!) and YES I already have her permission. The standard disclaimer had applied.  
  
This chapter contains more scenes of Doctor Dee in a light one have never seen before, fruit bats and some---weird stuff. Oh no flames, I just burn them. It's all in THAT button----  
  
----  
  
Part two: Moonlight  
  
Late that afternoon Karl looked up from his ledger to see Doctor Dee minus 'Esmeralda'.  
  
"Ah, Colonel, how good to see you again," he said as he approached the desk swamped with paper works, composed of bills and shipment paper works. "I see that you have gotten things put to rights. However, I truly feel that you allowed us unfair advantage of your generous nature."  
  
Regardless of his impeccable manners and dignity, there is something about Doctor Dee that Karl found odd. He glanced around, wishing that at least Thomas were here, but the young lieutenant went off-duty to get ready for the New Helix event, the Midsummer night party. Karl would have left early himself to supervise and help with the decorations, but after this morning's disaster he had work to finish.  
  
He closed the account book and gave the doctor a thin smile, "That's quite all right, Doctor. Sometimes things happen that are simply beyond our control."  
  
Doctor Dee's large bulging eyes gleamed knowingly. "Just so, Col. Schubaltz, just so." He put his hand to his chin and considered the ashen blonde colonel for a moment, then nodded as though he'd arrived at a decision. "Because you graciously forgave the contretemps of this morning, I must offer you a small token of my appreciation, a gift. And of course, one for your Lieutenant brother."  
  
Karl blinked, there is something odd. He knows Dr. Dee is a bit eccentric BUT not this kind of strange. "Oh no, Doctor. That really isn't necessary. We can handle ourselves pretty well in such situations---"  
  
Doctor Dee spotted the piles of papers in the 'out' label and noticed that Karl has already closed his ledger. "It seems your task for now is finished, colonel. Wouldn't you mind if we go to my place perhaps, so I can give you your gifts?"  
  
The colonel looked at his table, it was already clear and empty, and all the paper works needed to be done are already finished. He contemplated to rest for awhile, "I don't think this would be the right time, Doctor. I just can't leave my office." He said, fluttering his green eyes lazily, as if he is too tired and wanted to be left alone. But Dr. Dee insisted, and extended a long thin hand towards him.  
  
"Please, Colonel. I have all manner of wonders to choose from. It's the least I can do. I shall be offended if you don't accept."  
  
Seeing Doctor's Dee insistence, Karl sighed wearily and stood up, grabbing his cap and placed it tightly to his head. "Well----alright, doctor. I'll follow you up shortly." He said, having no chance to refuse. Heaven forbid that Doctor Dee is offended, after all the work he'd made for them, the colonel thought wryly. He stepped out from his desk, and followed the doctor shortly to the door.  
  
*****  
  
He expected to end up in a lab or something, but Dee brought him to a muddy small cave just slightly visible in the outskirts of the woods. Karl cursed as he was forced to get off the jeep and leave some of his men behind to crawl up to a narrow path leading to the cave, and his cap was carried away twice---by fruit bats. The third time it was snatched off his head, he chased them off until he was lanced by a fat twig flat on the face. After that, he gave up the attempt on chasing the little infidels.  
  
After several minutes, a scratched nose, a scratched knee and a messed up hair full of briars without the cap, Karl reached the cave along with Doctor Dee. For a brief moment, he noticed from above, he could see the villages, the people and his men. One of them looked up, noticing him, and waved. Reluctantly, Karl waved back.  
  
"Wait just a moment, Colonel." Doctor Dee said, and nimbly leaped three steps into the cave. Its entrance, Karl noticed, was covered by a heavy cloth.  
  
The canvas panel flew up like a window blind.  
  
Inside, the cave's walls were refined to almost in a flat, wall-like smoothness. There are tables and stools, and a lot of stock boxes, all placed neatly, as if the whole place is a neat open-stock room---only in a cave. A wall lamp lightly glowed over at a simple working desk beside a box of dried herbs, and Karl frowned as he noticed a ridiculous brilliant blue turban with a crescent moon just situated over it. WHERE did that came from?  
  
"Welcome to my secret hobby, Colonel Schubaltz!" He beamed, as if not taking notice of Karl's worn out state. Karl didn't budge and stayed by the entrance, still observing the strange cave. Why would the doctor choose such secluded area? Not to mention a pain in the ass, he thought, rubbing his aching back. 'Stupid fruit bats---'  
  
"Step a bit closer, Colonel, and I shall show you curiosities from all over Zi!" His voice held mystery and excitement, and despite his misgivings the grumpy colonel stepped forward. Like a magician, Doctor Dee snapped open a box and whipped out a gun. "This is a classic, it is said to be carved out of real silver. The user can only use it if it follows a certain sequence--- I guess Thomas can find that out." And he handed it to Karl.  
  
"Um-thanks. I'll inform Thomas." He mumbled, taking the thing back to the box and placing it to his trouser pocket.  
  
Next, the Doctor turned to a trunk at his feet and opened its lid. "Let's see what the trunk holds for this kind of man, shall we, Esmeralda?"  
  
It wasn't until that moment that Karl noticed the organoid, tethered by the angle in one of the heavy rods of the wall lamps. The zoid let out a familiar screech and grimaced at him, showing off its metallic teeth.  
  
"Be quiet and mind your manners!" the doctor ordered, "You've made enough trouble for one day!" The sullen organoid turned her back on them both. "Ah, here's an interesting item." He held out a brass thing which resembles a lamp to him. "This come from the under water sunken city of the ancient ruins, it is said that it's purported to have once housed a jinn that could grant wishes to its owner."  
  
Karl raised his eyebrows skeptically.  
  
Doctor Dee withdrew the lamp. "Of course, an educated officer such as you wouldn't believe that nonsense."  
  
Next the doctor produced a ring with a large dark stone. "This ring changes color to suit the owner's humor. If he is feeling happy, the stone will be blue-green. If he is worried, the stone will become red. And should he become angry, the stone will turn to black."  
  
When Karl said nothing, expressing his impatience by crossing his arms towards his chest, Dee brought out a crystal ball. It sparkled under the sun like a diamond. "Perhaps you would care to know your future, Colonel? Shall we look into the crystal ball to see your fate?" He put on the blue turban and began waving his hands over the glass ball.  
  
This was becoming ridiculous, Karl thought. "I already know my future, Doctor. In six weeks, I shall retire from my duty and settle with my friend, Leon. I shall travel with him into a journey of self-discovery. There are a lot of things I missed out in my young life and I'm going to do what is right."  
  
Now it's the Doctor's turn to look skeptical, and he wagged a long finger at him. "Not much is les certain than which we assume to be. Shall we learn the truth of it?" He held out the crystal like a king holding an orb.  
  
"I already know the truth." Karl said, smiling faintly and brushing the annoying briars and dirt from his hair.  
  
As he stood there, he suddenly realized that the whole area outside is empty. Where had everyone gone? Strange that it should be deserted at four o'clock in a Saturday afternoon. Even the busy village noises had disappeared, and it was so quiet---no birds twittered. He looked over his shoulder at his jeep down below, too, seem to have disappeared. A note was left by one of his men at the windshield, saying that they have to get some supper soon before dark. Karl wondered why he didn't notice his men leaving before. This surely will be taken out of their pay---  
  
A hot wind came up, sending dust devils whirling down the dry, sun baked road, but a chill rippled through Karl. To be out here alone---perhaps he could just thank the old doctor and go back to his quarters.  
  
"Ah, so positive of your destiny, are you?" he intoned, and his voice changed subtly. Karl looked at him; his bulging eyes were riveted on him, two narrow black spheres from which he could no shift his gaze. He meant to nod, but could only star back, transfixed.  
  
"Then here is just a thing for you, Colonel."  
  
From the trunk he produced a velvet pouch with golden drawstrings and held it out to him. Karl extended his hand though he'd willed him to do so. The velvet was cool and soft to his fingers, its contents heavier than he suspected. "Open the pouch," he instructed and the colonel obeyed, working loose the drawstrings. The scent of crushed lavender drifted from the folds of the fabric. He peered in and saw a brooch. Carefully he pulled it out and found a gold chain with an odd stone suspended from it. The stone was not quite purple, not really red.  
  
"What is it?" His own voice sounded strange to his ears. Though he know it's impossible, the brooch seemed to vibrate.  
  
Doctor Dee sprang down from the cave like a black cat. Taking the amulet from his hands, he opened the pin and clipped it near his neck collar. It really wasn't a proper thing for him to do, especially out of the open, but he felt powerless to object. His touch by his neck was ice-cold.  
  
"THIS, Colonel, will tell you the truth. Wear it under a full-moon, and this amulet will draw your true love to you. Who ever 'she' is, she will come to you. And once you shared a kiss with her, your heart's fate will be sealed all time."  
  
Karl cannot tell the Doctor that Leon, his friend and lover---IS the person he truly loves. He looked down at the amulet resting near his right shoulder, of everything the doctor have shown him, he found this enticing and odd. And though he disapproved of pagan charms, he could not stop himself from accepting it.  
  
"T-Thanks, doctor." He mumbled, feeling a bit drowsy and light-headed.  
  
"Wear it, Colonel, most especially tonight of all nights---Midsummer's eve, the shortest night of the year." Dee pointed out at the stars and moons painted at the walls of his secret cave, "When the sun is farthest from us, your true love will be closest. It may bring you turmoil---but perhaps it will bring you happiness."  
  
When Karl looked up again, the village below was once again bustling with all walks of life. Horses and wagons were driving by the sun baked roads, and his soldiers have already arrived from their short break like an eye blink. When he left the cave, the sun is starting to mellow to the horizon, making the whole mountain look peaceful and mysterious at the same time--- even Doctor Dee deemed to act even MUCH more mysterious as than he thought before. Clinging by his right breast pocket is the amulet, and as he went down the mountain, he didn't bother reprimanding his men for leaving him out there all alone with the strange old man.  
  
*****  
  
"It looks cool, big bro---I didn't notice it before." Thomas grinned, addressing Karl informally since both are now off-duty to help out at the New Helix Midsummer night party. Karl wondered why he let his younger brother egg him to join and participate in the event, of all people, he should know better than anyone else that he DOES NOT like going to social junctions unless its an important business-related matter. He is currently in his quarters, digging at his trunk, looking for something decent to wear for the 'party' before going ahead and help with the party decorations.  
  
"You got a nice gun, why don't you just leave it as that?" he snapped, glancing at Thomas irritatedly. The amulet, ever since he went back to the head quarters, everyone else is commenting how well it looked with his uniform. And he is starting to get annoyed by it, "I can't believe I let you talk me into this, Lieu---Thomas. YOU know I had other important things to do than play chaperone at some stupid party."  
  
"Like what, face the ledger all day?"  
  
He is right, facing the ledger all day---checking the military cargo, the life of being an officer isn't as much challenging as before. He glanced at his trunk and drew out some decent clothing items, thinking what he could wear. Damn, he usually does not think of what to wear---he always wear that military uniform every day, that he forgot what kind of civilian clothes to put on. He never asked any one's opinion regarding a dressing code, but Karl found himself drawing out a pair of gray slacks and a black sweater in front of his brother. "Thomas," he mumbled embarrassingly, "I need your opinion---what do you think?"  
  
Thomas placed the gun he is tinkering with, and glanced at his brother from head to feet. Then he shook his head, "If you are going to a funeral, yeah. That would be nice."  
  
Karl frowned, "Thomas---"  
  
He didn't expect Thomas sudden reaction, the younger Schubaltz sprang from where he was sitting, grabbed the clothing and fling them away to the bed. "This is a party, big bro, not a covert operation. If you are going to a social event, YOU had to look the part."  
  
Karl can see the brimming eager enthusiasm in his brother's eyes; after all, Thomas has never been so pleased that his big brother would someday ask for his advice. "Well, then, show me how to 'look' the part."  
  
Thomas bounced off again, and ran to the other side of the corridor, in a few minutes---or seconds, at Karl's estimation, his younger sibling is dragging his own trunk. With an 'oof' sound, Thomas dropped the trunk and quickly flipped it open. He threw some of the contents to Karl.  
  
"YOU got to be kidding," Karl sniffed, stretching a loose mint green cardigan "You want me to BORROW your clothes?"  
  
"Why what's wrong? Most of the colors suits you---it's about time you wear something different." He replied, dragging out a nice pair of khaki's and throwing it to Karl's arms.  
  
"I appreciate the sentiment, Thomas--" Karl said, flipping the cardigan to a nearby chair, and frowning as he unfolds the pair of khakis and hands it back. "But you are forgetting something IMPORTANT, we are not of the same body size."  
  
"It's only in your tacky uniform, Karl. WE are almost of the same size." He beamed, shoving back the khakis to his brother. Karl frowned, if there is one thing he didn't like aside from Thomas' lack of military ethics, it would be his goddamn persistence. Knowing he won't give up, he sighed and stretched the pair of slacks. "Size 33-it looks so---" his nose wrinkled, "small."  
  
"The style is tight, but it's not small---try it."  
  
Karl cringed; he HATES anything that seems to be tight to his body. He even wondered why his brother likes wearing such items. Reluctantly, he stripped off his pants and pulled the pair. It is a perfect fit. His brother is right; THEY are of the same size.  
  
"See, it just fits you well! You are going to wear that to the party." He chirped, then tossing a few items. "I never get to wear any of these---"  
  
After several try-outs, and arguments later, Karl was forced to wear a pair of khaki, with a matching toned-down over-coat and a chartreuse green long sleeved polo shirt for the party.  
  
*****  
  
"It is you but it is still not you," Leon commented, with a sly smile curved to his lips. "You never strike me as the fashionable type Karl,"  
  
"I look like a damn flamboyant pimp. I can't believe I allowed Thomas to talk me into this stupid social event." He muttered, brushing one hand through his whiskey blonde strands. Karl cursed as he felt the slick mouse and hair gel messed up on his hair. He never have been in such 'social events' before and he must have made a mess styling his lifeless hair. He can't recall the last time he pay attention to it, since most often, it's always hidden in the uniform cap.  
  
"Stop fidgeting with the hair," Leon said once again, "It's nice that you wear it brushed up that way."  
  
"I never BRUSHED UP my hair this way." He corrected stiffly, tucking a cow lick of a hair.  
  
"Hey, with that new look one can really tell you are brothers." The blue haired man grinned, adding that with the change of attire and hairstyle, Karl is starting to resemble Thomas in a certain distance. The colonel frowned and made no comment about it. HE really wasn't used to this. It's a good thing that Thomas was few meters away from them, not hearing the conversation. The young lieutenant's arms were stuffed with boxes that contain decorations and other stuff for the New Helix party event. Karl then noticed in his horror that Thomas was wearing the almost the same attire style that he was wearing now. /just great, what are we, the double mint twins?'/  
  
"What an interesting amulet, Karl." Leon spoke, cutting him off from his reverie. "I don't believe I've seen it before."  
  
The evening sun flashed on the stone, making it glow like molten red crystal against his pale green shirt.  
  
"I don't even know what possess me to wear this---jewelry. I really look like a--"  
  
"Bro is being self-conscious!"  
  
He frowned, "I'm so GLAD you're amused by all this."  
  
Leon, Karl and Thomas were already walking through town to the party hall. Their shadows were long on the yellow sun-baked ground on the road, and the withering heat of the afternoon had gentled. The ashen blonde colonel had already explained to Leon about his morning 'adventure' with Doctor Dee and the purple baby organoid. His fingers touched the amulet. "I think the Doctor felt bad about the trouble the organoid has caused. I guess he gave me this strange thing to apologize."  
  
Leon glanced at the golden chain. "I'm sure he meant well, but do you think you should have accepted it? It looks pretty expensive."  
  
Karl sidestepped a rock in the road. "He insisted that I take it. He said he'll be offended if I didn't."  
  
He didn't bother to tell them the rest of the doctor's tale. Karl didn't believe it himself. The frightening giddiness he'd felt when he put the brooch on his breast pocket, well, he'd just been hungry. His lunch had been only a biscuit and coffee. As for the bunkum about full moons and short nights, and true loves, it was just that---bunkum.  
  
Leon gave him a fond smile and gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder. He had a good face and nice eyes, his dark blue hair under scored his air of mystery, the man he grew to know well from his past. When he talked to him about leaving the imperial army because his task is done, he knew he was right and it was for his own good. The long war in Zi is over, the sides both of the republic and the empire had developed a strong alliance than ever before, and aside from minor nuisances like rebel factions, there is nothing major to worry about. Just as he knew he could share a life of bliss with this man, no brooch/amulet or soothsaying peddler would change matters. Why then, did he feel compelled to wear the brooch tonight?  
  
"I wonder if he's coming to the party tonight. Irvine, I mean." Thomas mused. "He hasn't been to one yet." He kept his eyes cautiously on the road ahead with the stack of boxes under his grip, but when Karl looked at him, he was blushing again as he had this morning when he mentioned him. He felt a spark of impatience at his brother's schoolgirl reaction.  
  
"Leon, I've been trying to tell Thomas here that Irvine is not a man a modest person should even think about. And I'm sure he has no interest in such social activities."  
  
"Who knows, maybe he WILL come tonight." Thomas said, "After all, its Midsummer's eve and anything can happen. I still think that Raven and Reys having a baby is peculiar. Anyway, I heard from Flyheight before he took a leave is that Irvine prefers to stay behind with us to escape some personal tragedy. Maybe that's why he kept to himself."  
  
Karl snorted, "Personal tragedy, my eye. Why, I wouldn't be surprised to learn he was a bandit before he came here." "WAS a bandit before, Karl." Leon corrected, "Irvine is a little remote but he seems nice enough. I don't think he's anything other that what he says he is."  
  
*****  
  
When they got to the party hall, only a few people had arrived to help set up the supper tables. While Karl and Leon lingered outside, Thomas hurried ahead to join a group of his old friends. A whiny scrape of fiddle send the colonel spinning around. "What the hell is that?"  
  
"The party's theme." Leon commented, pointing out at one side of the hall were a small band is trying to practice with fiddles and flutes. Some young cadets came in dressed in much casual clothes, fixing plants, flowers and vines to give the hall a much ethereal appeal. Others were helping to stack hay outside where young lovers will rest later /all because it's a Midsummer Night party?! /  
  
"I better help the boys set up the hay. I imagine we'll have some couples who'll want to sit awhile in the moonlight later on."  
  
Moon light, he thought, and touched his chain again. He heard of this yearly social party event, hay bales were arranged around the grounds outside to provide seats for weary dancers. Of course, Leon, Karl, and other mature people would supervise to make certain none of the young unmarried people get too cozy in the darkness :)  
  
"Maybe we----we'll be one of those couples?"  
  
When Karl realized what he just said, and wants to smack himself for asking such a foolish question. THAT might not be a kind of thing to suggest to Leon. So far, except for one chaste peck he'd given him a few weeks ago when he proposed, nothing had occurred between them. Not that it should, he decided hastily. He wasn't usually given to such romantic notions. But there is a time when two people would like---a little closeness?  
  
"I doubt if I'll be able to break away from the chaperoning job. And we have to set an example for the young ones, you know." He returned him a smile and went off to join the other volunteers hoisting bales of hay.  
  
Karl turned and went inside to help the other participants arrange the wall decorations and then supervise the arrangement of table cloths over old doors that had been set up on sawhorses to serve as tables. He suppressed a sigh when Fiona Alissi Linnette, the blonde zoidian, arrived with Van Flyheight to set out dishes of her special strawberry preserves. Most people, including Karl himself regarded the tough spread as suitable only for tarring roofs and patching rain slickers.  
  
"We heard you are already signing for your leave, Colonel. I know it won't be easy at first, right Van?" Fiona said, turning around to the spiky haired youth who nodded in agreement. Karl noticed that nothing have quite changed between the two the fact they are already married, well except that Fiona seems a little plump and glowing.  
  
"My we seem rather cheerful looking today," he commented at the blonde's rosy cheeks, "It seems this is going to be a big happy reunion for everyone else."  
  
"Oh, didn't Fiona tell you?" Van beamed, "She is pregnant, and we are going to have a baby."  
  
Karl blinked and drifted his gaze to the blonde's belly; it is starting to bulge alright. He wondered how Thomas would react if he heard the news. The colonel is aware that since Fiona announced her marriage to Van sometime few months ago, the imperial lieutenant treated her with detectable coolness. AND then he got stuck in company with Irvine.  
  
"I wonder if it's okay to tell Thomas about the news," Fiona quipped, as if reading his thoughts. "I felt somehow sorry---"  
  
"I appreciate your concern, Fiona, but really, there's no need to worry about Thomas. He is a grown man and I think he understand that." He replied, not allowing her to finish the sentence, half-wondering if he is going to blame the two at the sudden change of his brother's 'preference.' Then he remembered what Thomas said and added, "He says he enjoy Irvine's company very much."  
  
"That's nice to hear, I wonder if Irvine is coming?" Van asked, "Moon bay is going to drop by, so I guess he will also come."  
  
"Well who knows, it's too early to tell." The colonel replied, "Why don't you two help me out before the party starts?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
*****  
  
Soon the hall began filling with people and the younger cadets called the women to dance. Rosewater, fresh flowers, and bay rum scented the warm summer night. The hot room, combined with the exercise, gave the dancers a powerful thirst, and the colonel, unfortunately near the punch bowls, was kept busy.  
  
At the other end of the hall, the blonde zoidian, Fiona Alissi Linnette was just as busy, dispensing beer to the men. Once, Karl glanced up to see Fiona hand a mug to Irvine. He was so surprised to see him; the ladle slipped from his hand and sank to the bottom of the punch bowl.  
  
Irvine had never attended such social gatherings before, but there was certainly no mistaking him. He looked as different from any other men, tall as he was, without his bandana and eye patch, but still with that messy spiky auburn hair. Tonight he wore a dark gray shirt, a dark vest, and black pants that fit a little too tightly, in Karl's estimation. Irvine stood against the wall, sipping his beer, scanning the crowd until he apparently found what he is looking for. Karl turned to see what, or who, that might be, and saw his brother dance by with a fresh-faced young woman.  
  
"Let's have two glasses of that punch, Karl." Leon's sudden voice dragged his attention back to the sunken ladle. While he fished it out with a fork, the blue-haired man continued in a jovial tone. "Well, I guess the emperor will be giving your leave soon, Karl. It's a mighty strong coincidence it the way it worked out, without me having to use mind powers--I mean."  
  
Karl sloshed punch over the edge of cup he was filling. The day after Leon proposed, the peace and stability within the imperial territory has been restored. He was told by the blue haired lover of his, it is about time he call for a leave---and enjoy things he sorely missed out in his younger days. Leon even pointed out that he should try to be a little less uptight, like his expressive brother. Thomas.  
  
Karl never considered Leon's sudden proposal in that light before. He loved the military life, he lived with it---and taking it away from him, he doesn't know what to do next. It's all he has ever known. So why now? It must be the heat, the colonel decided, and the nerve-wracking events of the day. He wiped up the spilled punch and covered his clumsiness with a forced silly laugh. "Ah Leon, you just remind me what Thomas used to say. He believed that if a man could think, there is no reason to hide it. It's a good thing I heeded that advice didn't I?"  
  
Leon smiled and nodded, "It surely is Karl, it surely is."  
  
***  
  
When Leon finally left, the ashen blonde colonel looked for Irvine again and noticed that he was edging closer to the dance floor. AND Thomas knew he was there. The dark blonde head keep swiveling as he moved around the floor, keeping him in sight.  
  
Well, there wasn't a blessed thing he could do about it. If Thomas wanted to throw himself at a former rouge---something sinister certainly lurked in Irvine's past---he couldn't be able to stop him. He already said his piece about him.  
  
With no one now swarming near the stupid punch bowl, Karl decided to step outside to escape the heat of the hall, and to find Leon. He seemed to just disappear the moment he took his eyes of him after he gave him his punch. He knew if they spent a few minutes together, he could dispel the odd, niggling doubts that had crept into his mind tonight....  
  
Outside a breeze fanned his hot face and tugged at his hair. Purple dusk was giving away to the night. A full moon, heavy and golden, rose above the eastern horizon, lighting the buildings with a faint yellow gleam. The muted melody of a waltz floated to him from the hall. It was a beautiful evening. If Dr. Dee's folderol about his amulet was true, he would be saved the bother of having to look for Leon. The combination of the moon and the stone should bring the blue-haired mage right to him.  
  
Suddenly, the odd, dizzy feeling that he had earlier in the afternoon came over again. He stopped and put a hand on his throat, waiting for the feeling to go away. Maybe he was coming down on something.  
  
Behind him, a low male voice murmured. "I knew I'd find you here." Hands come down on his broad shoulders and he turned around. Before he could speak or move, he felt a warm mouth cover his, in a slow, urgent kiss---  
  
A confusing jumble of thoughts ran through his mind, competing with the sensations that galloped through his body. None of them included a desire to resist the tender assault.  
  
Heat....softness....sweet yearning.  
  
Karl smelled the faintest trace of crushed lavender, more like the memory of a vivid dream than reality. Then it was gone, replaced by the combination of scents he instinctively thought of as male----soap, leather and outdoors. His legs went rubbery as Fiona's strawberry preserves, and if not for the arms that held him, he was sure he would have collapsed.  
  
Comfort....strength....Leon?  
  
He released him, and slowly Karl opened his eyes to gaze upon the man who embraced him with such possessive tenderness.  
  
Irvine. 


	3. Am I Mistaken

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
Note: Yesssss---some terms I coined from fic inspirations. You guys know who you are ;) This part has a lot of OC's too just to add a little spice for the story line AND the bizarre love rectangle. Man it's getting uber complicated. Mwahahaha. Oh. Please bear with me---I haven't update my other titles yet =_=  
  
----  
  
Part three: Am I mistaken?  
  
"Fuck, Irvine, HOW dare you!" Karl cussed, and jumped back a good 4 feet.  
  
Stunned, Irvine gaped at the outraged colonel and braced himself to be smacked with a fist. Karl Schubaltz didn't impress him as a person who would take to having his person fiddle with, and certainly Irvine isn't a man who wanted to fiddle it, anyway. And the colonel looked outraged, but the fist didn't come. The bewildered wide green eyes just stared at him, looking mad and shocked. No more shocked than he felt, Irvine was certain.  
  
"I didn't know it was you." he whispered, his tanned face was actually hot. He glanced around to see if anyone had witnessed their encounter, but they were alone.  
  
"Oh, so you make it a practice to sneak up on ANY man in the dark you sick son of a---a-" Karl sputtered in a low angry buzz, unable to finish his sentence. But his meaning was clear.  
  
"No, I thought you were--- well, someone else---"  
  
"You mean you thought I was my younger brother, Thomas."  
  
Irvine folded his arms over his chest, feeling guilty and defensive, like a kid caught stealing candy. He couldn't very well confess that Karl was right. Well damn it, he never worn his hair like he wore it tonight. Someone must have given Karl's boring look a make-over somehow. His hair was sleeked back, and the supposedly sharp tresses seem to take a natural curl. He never wore it that way, but Thomas did. Irvine made a quick going over, and he knows damned well too, that Karl's basic wardrobe consists of either an imperial uniform or a black long sleeves and gray slacks. The colonel is wearing muted earth colors and pastels, just like what Thomas will be wearing. Irvine guessed that the young lieutenant might have lent some clothes to his socially inept older brother :P  
  
God, this is awkward. Why had he ever come to this stupid party?  
  
"Look, Colonel Schubaltz, sir. I thought you were someone else and I'm really sorry I bothered you. Let's just leave it at that." Irvine started to walk away when Leon approached. He was a sincere, mysterious man, and despite Karl's starched exterior, he didn't seem like Karl's type.  
  
"Karl, I've been searching for you." Leon said, "We've been looking everywhere for you. I've sensed your presence here somehow--" he stopped and peered at Irvine through the darkness, then recognizing him, extended one hand. "You must be Irvine. I'm glad to see you've made it to this gathering. I heard that you came to the Colonel's 'rescue' this morning."  
  
Karl jabbed Leon lightly with an elbow.  
  
Irvine glanced at the astringent colonel, and then shifted his weight from one foot to the other; uncomfortable with the phrase 'came to Colonel's rescue'. Karl didn't look happy about it, either.  
  
"Not really---" Irvine replied, "I just heard one of the female attendants scream."  
  
Leon pressed on, "Well, come on inside. We're about to have supper, and if you haven't tried Moon bay's fried chicken, you don't know what you're missing."  
  
Irvine shook his head. There was nothing he wanted more than to get away from the situation. "No thanks, Leon. I have some work to finish." he nodded at Karl, "Colonel, sir."  
  
Karl watched him walk away with a sense of relief. That kiss----besides being shaken, he felt oddly winded and dizzy, as though he'd been holding his breath ever since he first touched him.  
  
"Let's go in Karl," Leon said, and pulled on his arm.  
  
Karl glanced at the moon, longing more than ever to spend a few minutes alone with him. "Leon, wait---"  
  
He turned back to him expectantly, "What is it?"  
  
He sighed, and shook his head... "No--never mind."  
  
Leon smiled lazily, "Well okay, let's get there first before Thomas and the others finishes the whole supper then."  
  
As he led the way back to the hall, Karl glanced over his shoulder at the full moon. He had his answer. If the silly amulet had any powers, Leon wouldn't be thinking about fried chicken. :PPPP  
  
***  
  
"Bro, you've hardly eaten anything of your supper." Thomas said worriedly, "Are you feeling alright?"  
  
Around them, conversation buzzed and silverware clinked. Leon was on the other side of the room. Next to Thomas, was Ruth Watson, one of the few women who danced and clings on the lieutenant, lingering in helpless infatuation for having the honor to dance with a Schubaltz, and now hoping for a morsel of the blonde's attention, and Thomas cannot refuse her.  
  
"Yes of course," Karl answered, a bit too quickly. "The chicken is delicious; Moon bay is an excellent cook." He tried to act as if nothing had happened, but it only made him more edgy and restless. He wished he could just go back to his headquarters.  
  
"How do you know? You haven't even tasted it." Van exclaimed, stuffing a mouthful, and was seated just a chair apart from Thomas.  
  
Karl looked at his worried brother, and to the eating Van, then down to his plate. The chicken sat on his plate, untouched. "Sorry, it's so hot in here. I guess I'm getting a headache."  
  
"I thought it was really good, Thomas." Ruth said, piping up and snuggling close to the lieutenant. Karl can hear a mewing sound coming from the young woman and shivered.  
  
"Ruth," Thomas said sweetly, "I'm just about to be parched. Would you do me a big favor and get me some more lemonade?"  
  
"I'd be happy to, Thomas," Karl eyed the woman strangely, and the woman stammered, "--uh, I mean Lieutenant!" The woman was nearly beside herself with eagerness; she grabbed his punch glass and sprang from the chair to get some lemonade. Thomas watched her until she was gone, then leaned closer. "Thank heavens! That woman has been buzzing around me all evening! I wish I never told her that I'm a Schubaltz."  
  
Karl poked his chicken with his fork. "I've heard that Ms. Watson is a very nice young woman with good prospects and her relatives have active connections with the imperial forces." he said, "Much BETTER involvement, than some other people you know BACK at the Guardian Force."  
  
Thomas blushed mildly and frowned, shyly bowing his head as he stabbed a piece of his potato salad. "Ruth is just a girl. I want someone who's---er, well--- with much more attitude and more grown-up. I guessed some one with more experience and being really down to earth." He looked around the crowded hall as though searching for someone, then brought his green gaze back to his brother's. "I saw you outside."  
  
Karl's heart nearly stopped, "Outside? What are you talking about?"  
  
Thomas gave him an impish, satisfied smile. "You don't have to play coy with me, bro. I saw you and Leon in the moonlight, and I'd guess that's what has you so unsettled. I was looking for Irv---I was getting a breath of air myself." He primly dabbed his mouth with the table napkin. "Naturally, I came back inside before I saw anything between you, but--- you're blushing. Just like a red tomato, Karl! You NEVER blush!"  
  
Karl swore the others in the table have heard it loud and clear. Van starts to choke in a piece of his chicken and Moon bay nearly bursts the lemonade out from her mouth, Fiona--well, she seems just to stare as usual, like she have heard an alien language.  
  
He can't tell Thomas that Irvine had changed that. Karl's face burned hotter, but despite his embarrassment, he was relieved. Better that his younger brother think he'd been sparking outside with Leon than guess the truth.  
  
Thomas stared across the room at Leon, "I guess Leon isn't a completely hopeless sobersides after all."  
  
*****  
  
Irvine walked down the center of the main street. Except for the rustle of night creatures in the brush, it was quiet. Almost everyone had gone to the party. He looked up at the moon. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen one so bright and full. It was a lover's moon. The rest of the sky was filled with stars, twinkling bluish white, and they seemed so close for a minute he thought that if he stood in the roof of his quarters, he could touch them. The air carried the whispered scent of crushed lavender making him think of----  
  
He shook his head. Damn, where did all that sappy hogwash come from?  
  
He hasn't even planned to go to that dance. What had happened tonight? How could he have gotten the two brothers confused? It had to have been more than just his hair. He only knew that he'd been watching Thomas long enough for him to notice him, too. Then he disappeared and something---a compelling force, he couldn't say just what---had pulled him outside. The first thing he'd seen was that moon. Then he'd seen Thomas waiting for him, standing there looking dreamlike. Except it wasn't him.  
  
It might have been the beer, he decided. He'd just have one but even now he felt a little drunk, a bit lightheaded. That had to account for his error, and for the powerful arousal Karl stirred in him. A mug of beer, the sight of Thomas Schubaltz dancing, some moonlight, a little loneliness.  
  
An iceberg of a man like Karl Schubaltz is not definitely his type. But the longer he considered it, the more he was inclined to admit that something about him had seemed different. The way the moonlight caught in his short, strawberry blonde hair was enough to make a man/woman look at him twice. When he kissed him, he'd been soft to the touch, with a frame that he imagined would mold to his very well. But it was his younger brother he'd gone in search of, not him. All at once his attraction to Thomas had slowly simmered.  
  
He unlocked the door to his quarters. In the gloom, the long barrels of rifles hanging on the wall gleamed dully. It was all too mixed up for him to figure out tonight. He'd probably work on those tomorrow, but that didn't matter. It wasn't as though he had a family to spend Sunday with. His hopes for that life had died more than five years ago in some heathen colony somewhere in the side of the republic.  
  
He struck a match on the rough wall to light his kerosene lamp and carried it up the dark narrow stairs to his room where he pulled off his clothes and flopped naked on the bed. Damn, but it was like an oven up here. The lamp flame made it seem worse. He reached out to turn it down. A soft night breeze lifted the curtains and ruffled the fine hair on his body.  
  
He fell in the world of half-dreams, remembering the look on Sarah's face when he'd gone to tell her about her little brother. She'd called him a cold-blooded son of a bitch and had flung her engagement ring at him. After that, everything in his life had gone to hell, and in the years that he'd had to think about it, he wasn't sure that Sarah had been wrong.  
  
That thought faded when Karl Schubaltz's image rose in his mind's eye again. Restless and hot, he rolled over, trying to shut him out. He even tried to envision him as he'd looked this morning when he complained about him lying in the sun trying to dry his slacks: the stiff, disapproving military-ethical marm. But as he began to drift off again, the picture faded.  
  
Instead, Thomas stood before him under an oak tree on a spring afternoon. His cheeks were flushed with color, and his green eyes gazed up at him, half-shy, half-seductive. The sun dappled his hair with yellow fire, highlighting its deep blonde tresses. The lieutenant leaned closer and put his hand on his chest, his soft lips parted in offer to his. Sweet. His skin and hair smelled sweet, and earthy. He was impossible to resist.  
  
Irvine covered his hand with his own and touched his mouth to his, full and warm. That touch went straight to his head. He pulled him closer. The kiss grew stronger, more urgent-more demanding. Thomas never struck him as the aggressive type---and yet,  
  
Under his hands, he can feel that his shoulders have become broader and firmer to touch. He does not wear his protective gear and his chest pressed against his own. It wasn't the lithe slender figure from Thomas that he felt, it was something much bigger, much muscular---and when Irvine opened his eyes, he saw the widest green jade orbs staring at him.  
  
Karl?!  
  
"Irvine," he whispered, when he released his mouth. "Liberate me----"  
  
Irvine lurched back to wakefulness, sweat-soaked and painfully aroused. Looking around the room, he was frustrated and relieved to find that he'd only been dreaming. But god, it had seemed so real. He'd felt his arms twined around his neck, heard his whisper in his ear. Even awake, he swore he could smell the faint, delicious fragrance of him. He was all wrong for him, he reminded himself, and he was with this 'Leon' guy to be with after his leave.  
  
He turned over and punched his pillow. He knew he shouldn't have gone to that goddamn dance.  
  
*****  
  
It was a day meant for the two of them. The spring afternoon was mild and new, and the birds twittered over head in the branches of the oak.  
  
Karl pressed a hand to his lover's chest. He smelled of leather and soap. He was the most handsome man he'd ever known, he thought proudly. His white shirt was unbuttoned to the breast bone, and he longed to put a kiss in the hollow of his throat, just there, where his shadow fell. A light breeze ruffled his sun-streaked hair, brushing it back from his eyes. He gazed up into his eyes---when had he ever seen eyes that gray? ----and beheld unmistakable, powerful desire, and love. Even though he wasn't as warm and sociable or as glowing like his brother, he knew he thought he was attractive, and he had chosen him for his own.  
  
His lips parted as if of their own volition, and he lowered his face to his, taking them in a moist, lush kiss. No one else had kissed him like this. He'd never felt ANYTHING like this. Hot and breathless, aware of every heartbeat. He pressed him against his long torso, enfolding him in his arms.  
  
"Karl," he said, his voice low, intense. "Let me liberate you----please."  
  
The ashen blonde colonel's eyes flew open. Then he sat up with a jerk, his head swiveling around as he picked out the dark shapes of furniture. It wasn't spring; it was a sultry summer night. He was in his own room, in his own bed, not in a green meadow. His heart pounded from what? Fear? Shock? Or was it something else?  
  
Anxiously, Karl rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. A dream, it had been an insane, embarrassing dream, full of vivid, wanton images of himself with IRVINE? He pushed off the sheet and got up to stare out by the open window. The moon had set, leaving only the stars to light the low, dry scrub beyond the yard. Perspiration struck his thin pajamas to his body.  
  
What had he been thinking of to cause such a dream? Truth be told, he'd been unable to thing of anything or anyone else since that episode outside the dance hall. He had trouble just putting a name on it, even in the privacy of his own heart.  
  
Carefully, reluctantly----it was like lifting the lid on a box of snakes---- he went over the dream. Instead of Irvine, he tried to imagine Leon holding him, kissing him, but his mind recoiled from the image. And when he gave Leon's voice to Irvine's words he shuddered despite the heat. He slammed the lid down again and guiltily locked it. He's an imperial colonel finally taking his leave from his duty, and journey with Leon a little more than a month's time, and here he was, having unchaste, sweaty dreams about the pilot. A MAN who have kissed him because he had mistaken him for Thomas.  
  
If he had only stayed inside with the dance hall with the stupid punch bowl. How would he be able to look Irvine in the face when they next meet? And it was inevitable that they would, for his quarter is just near where he is taking his office. He considered and discarded two or three different scenarios, before deciding on his only possible course of action. He would be his stoical self. After all, he was just a pilot and he is an officer of the imperial army. He is just slacking off at their military fort, just because he had connections with Flyheight and the others. But still he is still within his jurisdiction, which gave Karl some advantage. He'd simply pretend that none of it had ever happened.  
  
If he could 


	4. Emotions

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
----  
  
Part four: Emotions  
  
On Monday morning, the imperial colonel stood on tiptoe, his back to the door, as he struggled to reach a small kit on a high shelf. The organoid 'Esmeralda' must have pushed it to the back. He heard someone come in the warehouse, but he could feel the edge of the kit and didn't want to let go.  
  
"I'll be with you in a second." He said, breathless from stretching, "Just soon---as I get this darn---"  
  
"I'll get it for you."  
  
Karl jumped at the sound of Irvine's voice right next to him. Whirling to face him, he withdrew his arm as though the kit has bitten him, and banged his elbow on the edge of the shelf. Irvine winced at the cracking sound, but his eyes never left Karl as he easily grasped the offending kit and handed it to him. The colonel felt nailed to the floor by those eyes.  
  
"D-Denke." ('Thank you' in German(-author) Karl stuttered. He knew that he is damn blushing again, and he could feel it all the way back to his ears. His arm throbbed like blue murder, and he clamped his hand over it protectively. He felt so awkward. After the kiss, the dream, every sensation he experienced in his presence seems magnified. His grand plans to behave with aloof nonchalance evaporated in the heat of his nearness. Irvine, on the other hand seemed not to be bothered at all.  
  
"I'll bet that hurt," he said, nodding at his arm. Irvine pulled Karl's hand away and massaged his elbow with strong gentle strokes. Even through the fabric his touch was warm and vital on his skin. Suddenly, the pain began to fade.  
  
The curve of his full mouth had a sculpted look. His face was broad across the cheekbones and firm jawed. Whether or not he wanted to, Karl couldn't deny that Irvine was an attractive man. The colonel managed to break their eye contact, only to let his errant gaze drift downward to see that he was wearing his new slacks. They did indeed fit him well, as though they'd been molded to his shape. For a moment he felt a trembling desire to----  
  
GOD, WHAT WAS HE THINKING?!  
  
Karl eased his arm out of his grip. "What---" he cleared his throat and began again. "What do you want, Irvine?"  
  
Irvine dropped his hands to his sides and glanced around the stock room. Now HE seemed uncertain. "I came here to get some----bolts." He looked at the colonel again. "Yeah, bolts and screws, I am fixing up something in my lightning saix so I might need some of that."  
  
Karl eyed him skeptically. Irvine's real mission was probably to see Thomas. His younger brother was at the imperial headquarters this morning, and a tart remark hovered on the tip of his tongue, but then he thought better of it.  
  
He nodded and looked for an assistant, but unfortunately there was none. WHY do they disappear when he needs them? With a small disappointed sigh, he went to the smaller stock of crates and opened one of them. "How much? A pound?"  
  
"Yeah, that'll be fine, I guess." He walked around to the other side of the stock room and leaned against another crate, watching while Karl grabbed a small satchel and scooped the bolts and screws into it. He'd probably done it a couple of times but he fumbled around like it's his first day. Hoping it would help, Karl turned away from him, so he couldn't see him. But he felt as if his gray eyes were burning holes in his back.  
  
"This place was in pretty bad shape the last time I saw it. Looks like your men got it back together again," Irvine said. "What about those glass shields?"  
  
He peeked over his shoulder at him, his tension easing just a little. As long as anything that involves his job and career as an officer (even if recently its starting to get boring), it was Karl's pride and joy. "I ordered a piece of glass, but of course it'll probably take weeks to get here."  
  
"I hope it gets to this place in one piece," Irvine said, glancing around the stock room. "By the way, I'm sorry to hear about the news."  
  
Karl looked up, turning around to face the much darker man, his green eyes partially wide in question. "About what?"  
  
"It must have been hard for you to finally take a leave, after all that have happened, I mean."  
  
Irvine was recalling the final battle for the safety of Zi, when both the republic and imperial forces joined to defeat Hiltz. Karl plays an important role by controlling the gravity cannon.  
  
No, it wasn't really like that." Karl said stiffly, "I have done my role, and I never regretted my service with the imperial force. Besides, I'm pretty young when I started out. It was my father's idea to enlist me in the army---he said its better that I am able to stand in my own in case I never---" Karl turned back to the crate, leaving the sentence unfinished. He is so embarrassed. He was starting to bare personal details of his life to this man he hardly knew. He almost blurted out the fact his father hadn't expect him to get married. He was never been the marrying type. Everyone has high expectations in him, being the eldest son in the family. He was brought up so he can be an imperial officer, and other matters were ignored----like if he would ever marry. Now, he'd been twenty-nine years old when his father died, and still unmarried.  
  
An awkward silence fell between them.  
  
"How come I didn't see you out on the dance floor last Saturday night?" Irvine asked, softly.  
  
"I'm one of those in charge, I just can't go out there and dance." He replied, suddenly feeling defensive.  
  
"So? There are a lot of chaperones who could take your place. You can always instruct one; you're a superior officer anyway, right?" Irvine's eyes were fixed on him, expecting an answer.  
  
The colonel put the bag on one side of the scale and added more contents and weighed the small satchel one more time. "I just can't leave my duty, Irvine. As one of the participators and superiors in the event, it would be hardly appropriate for me to dance with anyone else." Karl didn't add that no one would even dare to ask him.  
  
"That's because you worry what others would say when you dance with Leon, huh?" Irvine leveled a serious look on the colonel. The statement made the hair behind Karl's neck prickle and he nearly ripped the satchel as he tied the top into a close knot.  
  
"People won't have much to say since my military career would be shortly over," Karl said bitingly, slamming the satchel in front of Irvine, making the darker youth inch away in surprise. "I'm more afraid what other people would say with the sickening plot you have turned my brother into, Irvine. And I'm warning you."  
  
Irvine gave him a reproachful look, "Are you worried because he is turning to be like you, Karl? It was your brother who returned my affections. I didn't force him. Same goes to you and Leon."  
  
He hates it when people forget their formalities in front of a superior officer; he opened his mouth to reprimand him, but thought better of it and shut it once more. They have been talking informally for nearly 10 minutes, what is there to reprimand now?  
  
"Did he give you that spiffy brooch you are wearing?"  
  
The colonel's hand went automatically to the amulet. Why he still wore it, he couldn't explain even to himself. "No, he didn't." The former rouge's questions made him uncomfortable, but not so much that he was tempted to mind his own business. But he didn't like the direction this conversation had taken. He shoved the tied up satchel to Irvine.  
  
"Was there anything else you wanted, Irvine?"  
  
Irvine gave him a half-smile, as though realizing that he'd been dismissed. He grabbed his satchel from the counter and turned to leave. Then over his shoulder, he replied,  
  
"Just one more thing, I guess."  
  
"And what would that be?"  
  
"Can I call you just plain Karl?" He didn't wait for his answer, but continued out of the door.  
  
It wasn't until he heard the metal doors slam together that Karl was able to breathe.  
  
"Irvine--" he whispered.  
  
----  
  
For the next hour, the imperial colonel leaned at the paper works at his office desk in his headquarters and tried to work on the account book, a task that usually took only thirty minutes at most. With a sigh, he pushed back from the desk and stretched his gloved hands once more before dipping his pen in the ink bottle again. As he stared down at the names and amounts at the ruled page, he realized this was the third time he started over. Every time he touched the pen to paper, the lines and ink strokes all ran together and he'd begin daydreaming.  
  
He rested his chin in one hand, and cast a slow, side-long glance at the wall to his right. 'He' was on the other side of that wall---few feet away from his quarters. What was he doing? Was he working with his stuff right now? Tinkering with the itsy bitsy parts he'll customize for his lightning saix that he absolutely loved to pieces? He could picture him at the hangar right now, adjusting his eye patch like a precision specialist, his dark head bent as his well-toned muscled body leaned over to fix something.  
  
Willfully disregarding any sense of guilt, he allowed his thoughts to drift back to the dream he had the night of the dance. Feverish and sweet, it still seemed as real as the lock of his hair he twisted on his gloved finger. He imagined his lips on his, the barest touch of his tongue to his lips. He smelled so good, so familiar. He placed his hand on the back of his neck and felt his thick, soft hair beneath his fingers.  
  
"I guess you might want to have some, bro." his younger brother called as he scurried in, carrying a covered basket.  
  
Thomas' voice jolted Karl out of his shameful reverie, and dropped his pen, splashing ink all over the ledger. "Verdammt!" (Goddamn it! In German(-- author) He felt as guilty as if had been caught stealing money from the military's treasury account. He turned away from his brother, certain that every lustful thought was clearly written on his impassive face.  
  
"Well, my, you're jumpy these days." Thomas clucked, observing him. He walked to the desk and looked over his big brother's shoulder. The scent of molasses and vanilla followed the lieutenant. The younger blonde gestured at the basket he'd left by the other table. "Leave those boring figures alone and take a break."  
  
"You know, lieutenant, THESE boring figures are going to be your responsibility pretty soon. I wish you'd spend more time getting familiar with them," Karl said, not quite able to keep the irritable edge out of his voice.  
  
"Oh, I know, but not today bro---I mean, colonel sir." Thomas said, quickly making his salute. There is a small smile playing on his lips. He reached back to the smaller table and lifted the white napkin on the basket to reveal molasses cookies. "Moonbay said these are your favorites."  
  
It didn't take much to distract the exhausted colonel. "All right. I'm not getting very far with this anyway." He put his pen aside and took a cookie. They were moist and fragrant with spices. Moonbay was a superb cook. He never believed it himself; until she forced him to take a bite when she whipped out a batch during the celebration few years ago after the final battle with Hiltz. The molasses cookies are his favorites. A wide jade eye peeked out of the cap, "I hope you don't expect me to eat them all." He said, before taking his third cookie.  
  
Thomas shook his head between munches. "No, I thought you'd like to take the rest to Leon later. It would do you good to get away from here for awhile."  
  
Karl smiled, gratefully latching onto the idea. Solid, unruffled Leon. He didn't make his insides jumpy, or drag his thoughts off to private corners where they didn't belong. He might just need to get his mind off---off what he shouldn't think of.  
  
He glanced at the brooch near his right shoulder. "Lieutenant, do you believe in magic?" If there was a likely believer, it would Thomas.  
  
His younger brother regarded him with those familiar green eyes and shrugged. "You mean like spells and potions and such?"  
  
Karl nodded.  
  
Thomas smiled faintly, his pallor for a moment looked beatific. "Wouldn't it be just wonderful just to make wishes and get what you want? If I could, I'd wish for a wonderful journey to see new places and meet new people. Nothing ever happens to this boring place anyway." He said, "But those things don't work, and the people who say they do, well, it's probably just because they WANT to believe."  
  
"You mean the power of suggestion?" Karl asked, popping the last bite of the cookie before dusting the crumbs off his finger gloves.  
  
Thomas had to think for a moment, and then he nodded. "But you're always so practical and level headed, why are you asking about magic?"  
  
Karl took another cookie and picked up his pen. "I was just wondering about Doctor Dee's strange hobby and how a man of science himself managed to believe in things like that." Karl hoped he sounded casual.  
  
His brother laughed. "Even I DIDN'T believe that nonsense." He pushed the cookie basket toward Karl. "You should deliver these to Leon while they're still warm. Moonbay said they're tasty while fresh."  
  
Slowly, Karl gripped his pen tightly and stared at the wall again. Heaven help him. He knew Thomas was right: Doctor Dee and this brooch were just so nonsense 


	5. More than words

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
----  
  
Part five: More than words  
  
Irvine sat at his workbench with the parts laid out in front of him. He carefully wiped each piece with a lightly oiled rag. His quarter was like a bake oven with the doors and windows closed, and he is sweating his brains out. But the nice summer wind blowing outside was loaded with gritty dust that was no friend to the custom parts for his Saix. As soon as he got the parts put together, he planned to go out back and pump water over himself. For now, he only paused to drag his arm across his forehead.  
  
He could do this job in his sleep, he knew it so well, and despite his best efforts, his thoughts began to wander. If he listened carefully, he could hear male voices talking, although he can't tell whose, at the other building in front of his quarters.  
  
It had been a damn fool thing to do, going over there like that this morning. The bolts and screws had just been an excuse. But he couldn't stop himself. He felt drawn to the ware house, just as he'd felt compelled to go in search of one man last Saturday night. That one man had turned out to be Karl.  
  
He adjusted his magnifier, looking at one gadget he had to tighten up. What was it about Karl Schubaltz that fascinated him? Why couldn't he get him out of his mind? The colonel haunted his thoughts and plagued his sleep. Maybe it was the way one corner of his smile pulled up a tiny bit higher than the other. Or it might be his wide eyes that peeked out from his cap, the way they changed from luminescent jade to deep emerald and back to jade again. Plus he had a brain to go along with his looks. But more than anything else, he sensed that beneath his starch and impassive expression beat the yearning heart of a passionate man. A man who would make one hell of a companion once you get to know a lot better.  
  
It really didn't matter what kind of person he was, did it? Karl would be quitting the imperial force for good and he'll moved out the military base with all his things and live a whole new life with Leon, then he'd be gone, that would be the end of it.  
  
When the gadget was finally assembled the way he liked it, Irvine put it away and exhaled a relieved sigh. Sweat ran down the column of his spine in an itchy trickle and crept over his scalp. He threw the oily rag on the worktable and headed to the back door, pulling off his shirt as he went.  
  
----  
  
Karl gripped the basket in one hand and paused in front of the closed door of Irvine's place to brush off his uniform. The hot dry wind blowing in from the high desert in the southeast coated everything with grit. He was not a timid person, neither was he particularly daring. But he was about to do a daring thing.  
  
/A right turn instead of a left---and our fates are changed/  
  
His conscience nagged like a toothache. He shouldn't be there. Nope soldier, he should have turned left and gone directly to Leon's place and give HIM the cookies. But the blue-haired man has also his share of baked treats from Moon bay from time to time, so he wouldn't miss these.  
  
Irvine had lived and worked here for a year, paying his rent every month, as regular as a clock. Karl was just being neighborly, nothing more. And as his brother had sensibly noted, there was no such thing as magic. Although the brooch still hung from his breast pocket near his shoulder, Karl felt that Thomas' observations freed him from Dr. Dee's poppycock. He chose to disregard the fact that he hadn't cared one whit about anything concerning Irvine before now.  
  
He took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. He'd just say hello, drop off the cookies and leave. That's all.  
  
But when Karl pushed open the door, he found the shop empty. It was hot as blazes, and all the windows were closed. He looked around the table and at the cot filled with parts and other devices and tool kits. The glass fronted cabinets housed rifles and shotguns, their barrels gleaming blue- gray, and at one side near his bed lamp, pistols lay on a bed of green felt. They were arranged in order of size, from derringers up to the big navy colt. Behind the counter, boxes of ammunition were stacked neatly on the shelves. The faint smell of metal and gun oil drifted in the air.  
  
With no woman to clean up after him, he'd expected Irvine's place to be disorderly hodgepodge of spare parts and unswept floors with drawers pulled open and cabinet doors gaping.  
  
"Irvine?" he said quietly. He looked up the stairs. He knew Irvine has another room up there. There certainly were no cooking facilities, but he heard that he ate most of his meals at the private cafeteria were other soldiers also ate. "Hello?" All Karl heard was the sound of the walls ticking under the hot sun.  
  
He wasn't here and after he worked up his guts to come over. Disappointed, he shifted the sweat damped handle of the basket to his other hand, trying to decide what to do next.  
  
Suddenly he heard the faint 'bump-bump-bump' of the pump handle coming from behind the building. He walked through the quarters and found the back door open.  
  
Just a few feet away, Irvine's bent to wet his head under the pump spout while water cascaded over his head and straight, bare back. His slacks were wet from waist to knees.  
  
"Hello? Irvine---"  
  
Hearing his voice, he snapped upright. The water streamed down his naked upper torso.  
  
"Oh, hi Karl." He said, raking his hair off his forehead. Sparkling droplets clung to his lashes, spiking them, and making his eyes look grayer than Karl remembered. He was so handsome standing in the sun with water dripping off his body and his spiky hair slicked back.  
  
Karl indicated the basket. He was having trouble finding his voice. "I brought you some molasses cookies."  
  
"Really? Did you make them?" He sounded like he is teasing him good- naturedly.  
  
"No, actually Moonbay did---she sent a basket for me and Thomas in the head quarters but I---" Wickedly fascinated, he let his eyes follow the lazy course of the dripping water over his muscled tanned chest, and they continued down his flat stomach, far below the waist band of his slacks where the top two buttons were open. A sharp line ended his tan. Beneath the border, his skin was as pale as his. Karl sucked in a breath---  
  
Seeing the path of his stare, he glanced down. "Sorry. I wasn't expecting company." He turned around and buttoned his pants, giving him a view of his well-formed shoulders and slender waist. Facing Karl again, Irvine gestured at the pump. "I was working, it got hot."  
  
"Yes," the colonel agreed, swallowing, "it is warm, isn't it." At that moment, all Karl could remember was Irvine's comment that wet slacks weren't so uncomfortable without underwear. He felt himself being pulled to him, like a weak swimmer caught in a strong current, and knew he had to get away.  
  
Staring at the horizon over his shoulder, Karl tried to make his exit. "Anyway, we can't finish them all and I thought you might like them." He held them out to him. "I really have to be getting back to my headquarters."  
  
Irvine took the basket and set it on the bench, his eyes fixed on him.  
  
"Karl."  
  
He looked up into his face again. Everything he'd ever noticed about him--- the bone and muscle of him, his smile, the color of his eyes, his VERY maleness----everything that he'd once considered to be too extreme he suddenly found powerfully, dangerously attractive. He couldn't understand why he hadn't noticed it before, or why he was aware of it now. Now he knows why Thomas is so infatuated with him.  
  
Oh, God, how had this happened to him too? He didn't want to turn to be as feckless and prattling like his brother who sighed after Irvine.  
  
"I don't think it's proper for you to address me so informally." He could hear his own voice shaking, stealing whatever conviction his words may have held.  
  
"I've never worried much about what's proper and what isn't. Only what's right." He took his wrists in a light grip and leaned close.  
  
"They're the same thing," Karl said a bit breathlessly, trying not to give away his nervousness. He could feel heat pouring off Irvine in waves.  
  
"Not always," he murmured next to his ear. Just the sound of his voice made Karl's eyes drift closed. "Thank you for the cookies." Then he pressed a soft, whispery kiss high on his cheek. The colonel felt the wet hair drip on his shoulder; he smelled the water on his skin, and his clean scent. He was warm and cool at the same time. This was wrong, he told himself, all wrong. He'd never behaved like this in his life.  
  
Irvine released one wrist, and reluctantly, Karl opened his eyes. The darker man's expression was serious and expectant, as though he waited for a response from him. Or was it some kind of permission he sought? Behind his handsome face, he thought he detected certain sadness, a burden he carried alone. No, he couldn't see anything, Karl reminded himself. The temptation to linger was strong, but if he didn't go now, he knew he might do something that would shame Leon's and Thomas trust.  
  
He pulled one gloved hand free and backed away. "H-hope you like the cookies," he babbled, and strode hastily through the open back door of the warehouse few feet away, hoping he wouldn't see anyone in the stock room. There he huddled in a dim corner staring at the dozen of boxes of the useless gadgets and gewgaws that Thomas placed as orders from the previous shipment. He stayed there staring at them until his heart stopped thundering and wait for the scarlet color to fade from his cheeks until finally regaining his stoical composure.  
  
----  
  
For the next couple of days, Karl avoided Irvine. He made certain he didn't walk past his quarters, but went around the building instead. He stayed away from the store room door whenever he might be out in the back. And he made a deliberate effort to concentrate on his duties, for the remaining weeks before his resignation as an imperial officer.  
  
But he couldn't stop thinking about him. He never should have gone there; he blamed himself again and again. Sometimes, when things were especially quiet around his head quarters, he might hear him talking over with Thomas by the hangar. He remembered the tender feel of his mouth on his cheek when he kissed him and his gentle grip on his wrists. Of course, that led him to thinking about the way he looked, staring at him with owl gray eyes, his wet hair creating streams that ran down his chest and past the open buttons on his pants.  
  
What Karl couldn't get off his mind was Thomas dire lack of military ethics and his lack of aptitude to deal with the managing the imperial military's budget and cargo merchandising. It kept the colonel awake nights. At least it did when he wasn't thinking about Irvine. All of this went a long way toward making Karl short-tempered and irritable, a decided change in a man who generally kept his feelings for himself.  
  
Desperate to make up from his wanton, disloyal dreams and thoughts, Karl sought to spend more time outside from his headquarters, and visiting the young couple who will be staying around for awhile, Lt. Van Flyheight and Fiona. He tried to be happy for them, and shuddered at the thought of life of marital bliss. He witnessed Fiona's unusual craving habits and her occasional uncontrollable flatulence. He saw how Van fumbled at her over, and deals with her occasional mood swings. Karl kept to himself, silently keeping a mental note how lucky he would be if he lives with Leon. Since none of them will HAVE to go through with all that trouble---that is if Leon is planning they'll adopt a child. The rest of the colonel's week was occupied with seeing the preparations and organizing technical matters before he finally retire, and dropping by to Leon's place if he find time.  
  
The blue haired man stopped by late one quiet afternoon when the imperial colonel was going over the accounts and documents with Thomas, explaining him for the third time the policy of extending credit.  
  
"But if people can't pay, why do we let them buy things from us?" Thomas asked, his smooth forehead creased with effort. He sat in front of Karl's desk, the ledger book open between the two of them.  
  
With the patience acquired from years being an officer, Karl pointed to a name in the book. He believes that Thomas has a strong potential when it comes to technical matters, but he also recently finds out that the lieutenant only knows things well if it only pertains to his own interest. Just as he was to stiffly remind him all over again about the break down, Leon walked in.  
  
"How are the two brothers this afternoon?" he exclaimed, rubbing his hands with glee. His dark colored clothes were as dusty as a cowboy's, but that didn't detract his mysterious aura. He seemed positively delighted, as though he harbored some wonderful secret. Karl never seen him so animated. His good spirits were contagious.  
  
"Leon, it's nice for you to stop by." Maybe Leon will be able to distract him from thoughts of Irvine. "It seems ages since you've dropped by with us for supper, won't you drop by tonight?" Karl asked, hoping that he'd accept.  
  
Thomas perked up immediately, closing the ledger book with a thud. "If Leon is going to have supper with us, I won't be able to spend any more time helping you with this, Karl. The place is pretty shabby and none of us have gone to the groceries as well, what with going over these accounts and all."  
  
Karl's green eyes narrowed, he have been in the duty long enough to recognize a bored, inattentive subordinate.  
  
"Never mind about any of that," Leon said, nearly bursting with excitement. "We'll have a lot of time together, years and years. But right now, I want to show both of you---it's the emperor's give away present. I can't believe it myself---come out and see it."  
  
"The emperor? That's thrilling, bro!" Thomas exclaimed, jumping up from his seat in a swish and quickly straightening out his uniform.  
  
"Well---alright." Karl replied, tired in reminding Thomas about his formalities the umpteenth time, and with his buoyancy deflated, he put aside his pen and rose from his chair.  
  
They followed Leon out to look at the object of his enthusiasm and found, a very brand new whale king. Its deep red steel form shone like crimson pearl and it bears the empire's insignia. Karl gaped as he watched the big carrier zoid being towed to its place. While on the other side of the base, a group of soldiers watched with great interest.  
  
Karl sent a dubious look to Thomas, but his brother was busy examining the whale king with a fascination that illuminated his pretty features.  
  
"You and Leon will really have an adventure," he rhapsodized. "Think of all the wonderful new things you'll see."  
  
Obviously, they both saw some merit in the carrier zoid that Karl did not. When he look at Leon, he noticed that the door in Irvine's place was open. He sat near his work table, assembling a rifle. As if knowing precisely the right moment, he looked up just long enough for their eyes to connect before he went back to his task.  
  
"A whale king, for personal use from his majesty." Leon announced proudly, running a hand over one side of the zoid. "It isn't a new one, but it's sturdy and I'm sure it can be re-modeled. I'm still looking for something that can upgrade it. At that rate, we could only bring important things so I'm afraid we'll have to leave that old desk of yours here. But I know you wouldn't mind, Karl."  
  
It was an assumption, not a question. And Karl looked at the zoid again, "I supposed that's true." He said, trying to keep the dismay out of his voice. He counted on taking his office desk; it would be a way he could carry a part of being once able to serve the imperial force with him to his new home. Of course, Leon knew the best. There are a lot of things they have to bring in the journey that were important. It was just that desk had meant so much to him.  
  
Pausing long enough to detect his distress, Leon made a passing attempt to cheer him. He patted his shoulder and said soothingly, "Now, Karl. It will be alright. Once we're out of here, you'll have so much time enjoying yourself; there won't be a time to miss that desk. And maybe in three or four years, we can visit at the imperial base and get it."  
  
"Leon's right." Thomas put in. "You don't need that old desk. You have a wonderful new life. And I'll take care of it for you in the meantime. It will be sitting right here waiting for you."  
  
Three or four years. He glances back at the headquarters' front and a funny little shiver whipped through him. IF his office was still here in three or four years.  
  
"I see you're still wearing that brooch." Leon said with a smile, but a slightly disapproving tone. Karl automatically reached for it and covered it with his palm. "I didn't think you'd really mind."  
  
Leon shrugged, and then gave Karl a quick, dry peck on the cheek. "Just so you take it off before we leave." He bid them goodbye, and walked off to ride in a zoid of his own, leaving Karl and Thomas in a haze of dust.  
  
As soon as he was gone, Thomas turned and said brightly, "I'm going to run along now, since you don't need me anymore today."  
  
"Lieutenant----" Karl began to protest, then thought better of it. There was no point in trying to make Thomas stay any longer in his headquarters this afternoon. "---that would be fine, I will be probably be late. I need to finish some things."  
  
"All right. We'll keep the supper warm for you." He turned to leave. "Irvine! How nice to see you again!"  
  
Karl glanced over his shoulder and saw Irvine leaning against the doorjamb. He stood with his arms over his chest, and his ankles crossed. His shoulder strap is un-latched, revealing more of his long muscled-forearms.  
  
"Officers," he acknowledged.  
  
"We weren't able to persuade Leon to join us for supper this evening." The blonde lieutenant blushed lightly, making Karl roll up his eyes. "Perhaps you might favor us?"  
  
The last statement made the colonel shot a quick, horrified look at Thomas, who was giving Irvine his most becoming smile.  
  
"That's very kind of you, Thomas, but I have something I need to attend to," he said, and Karl recognized the tone an adult would use with a child.  
  
Obviously disappointed, Thomas bid them goodbye, letting his gaze linger on Irvine.  
  
Feeling suddenly lonely, Karl shaded his eyes with his hand and watched his brother cross the path. Thomas waved at one of the small group of soldiers near by the next hangar and one of them said something to him. Karl couldn't hear what, but Thomas' clear, carefree laughter floated back to him.  
  
With a tired sigh, the colonel turned to go back into his headquarters and pulled up short when he saw Irvine still standing in front of his own doorway. He was watching Thomas, too, with a speculative expression. Then he focused on him.  
  
He nodded in the direction that Leon had taken, where the whale king was left. "That was quite a present the emperor has given for the both of you."  
  
Karl shrugged. "It's not really a present. It's more of a going-away award." Irvine raised his brows at him, making Karl think about what he'd said. "I mean a going-away offering after years of loyal service to His Majesty's crown."  
  
"And you can have everything in it except your desk." He considered him with those clear gray eyes. The breeze lifted one dark streak of his hair and blew it across his face.  
  
The colonel's ears grew warm, realizing Irvine heard the entire conversation. "Leon was right of course, the desk isn't important. After all it is still the mill---"  
  
"I think it's important to you."  
  
Irvine remained where he stood; leaning against the door frame, and once again Karl had the feeling of being drawn to him. How seldom anyone thought of what might be important to him. This man did, and he was little more than a stranger. He studied the few feet of space that separated them, and imagining crossing it to feel his hands on his again.  
  
When Karl glanced up, Irvine wore the same expression he'd seen the last time they talked, the day he brought the cookies for him. Like he was waiting for him to say something, do something. What, he couldn't imagine, but he didn't dare think about it. His thoughts were already scandalous enough.  
  
"Good afternoon, Irvine." He said, edging toward his own door.  
  
"Karl." He said softly,  
  
The colonel inhaled deeply and forced his eyes away from his. "You forgot who you are addressing, Irvine---I--"  
  
With that, Karl hastily hurried inside. 


	6. Untold Past

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
Author's note: I'm getting comments lately about mistakes, typos and grammar tenses, and I appreciate and grateful for the suggestions. But it so happens I'm too busy to proof read it, and I'm usually impatient if I let other's proof read my work. And there is no such thing as a perfect work-or even if I have it proofed, one way or another someone is going to find a mistake. I just have a lot of important paper works to deal with my upcoming school year, so I'll try my best on what I can come up with for now, but time is not on my side to fix them. Sorry.  
  
This chapter contains some revelations :: Grooves at Marvin Gaye's 'Lets get it on.' ::  
  
----  
  
Part six: Untold past  
  
For the rest of the afternoon, the ashen blonde colonel moved around in a distracted fog, going through the motions of his work, but with his mind on Irvine. When a set of red horns were contracted to be transferred via a hover cargo, Karl sent a couple of Gustavs instead. When the contractor asked for the breakdown for the stocked supplies, he accidentally switched it with his secretary's grocery list. He thought the day would never end.  
  
When six o'clock finally came, it was with a sense of relief that Karl starts cleaned his private desk and drew the shades of his office windows. The shade pull was still in his hand when he heard a voice behind him.  
  
"Hello."  
  
He whirled to find Irvine standing in the doorway between his office and his secretary's reception area. He carried a big napkin-covered tray. The tanned pilot smiled and nodded at the tray. "I had the private cafeteria put supper together for us. I thought you might be hungry."  
  
"Us?" Karl said, "Surely you didn't mention my name."  
  
Irvine gave him a steady look. "No. I told the cook I was having supper with a friend. Is that true?"  
  
The colonel glanced around his office---for what? Someone to rescue him from the temptation to share a meal with this man? Or for some reason to say yes? Karl was finding it more and more difficult to maintain a sensible perspective about him, and Irvine wasn't making the job any easier.  
  
"I appreciate the thought, Irvine. But I have a lot of work---"  
  
"Come on, Karl, I brought dishes and everything," he coaxed. He put the tray on the desk and pulled off the blue-checked cloth. "Hmmm---let's see, the cook gave me a pot of stew, and fresh bread and butter." He looked up at Karl again. "It smells good."  
  
Karl dropped the shade pull and came closer, wary but curious. Yes it did smell good, and he hadn't eaten much since breakfast.  
  
"If you say so." He relented, pulling off the cap from his head, exposing the crown of his blonde hair. "There's a chair behind you next to the desk. We can eat it here."  
  
They spread the dishes between them on his desk. Irvine ladled the stew while he sliced the bread. The scents of the stew and warm bread brought back the colonel's appetite.  
  
"I have something that will go with this," he said, reaching for a jar of blueberry jam under his desk and receiving an amusing glance from Irvine. "I carry this if I'm too busy to eat outside." The colonel explained with a distinct frown. With that he spread the jam on the buttered bread and took a large bite. It was the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted; suddenly his taste buds were awakened. In fact, all of his senses seemed particularly keen. He could hear the wall clock ticking softly near his office door. The color of the jam was beautifully vivid. The glass jar in his hand felt cool and smooth.  
  
Irvine looked up from his stew and chuckled. "See? You ARE hungry." Reaching for his napkin, he wiped Karl's upper lip. "You've got blueberry on your face."  
  
The colonel laughed softly and picked up his own napkin. It was nice to have someone fuss over him. Irvine had a light, caring side that he hadn't expected.  
  
"It's good to hear you laugh," he remarked, using his knife to spread butter and blueberries on his own bread. "I've gotten the feeling that it's not something you do very often."  
  
The observation did not surprise Karl. "I'm not a giggler, if that's what you mean. Now, Thomas----he's a giggler. His laugh is really contagious and it sounds like music. At least that's what our parents used to say. I guess I've always tended to be more serious."  
  
Irvine hooked one boot heel on the rung of the chair and munched his bread. "Even when you were growing up?"  
  
Karl nodded. "I'm five years older than Thomas, so I was expected to behave correctly and set a good example for him. He was so sensitive and unusually precocious for his age, so everyone naturally felt protective of him."  
  
"I guess that must have been hard for you sometimes." He speared a cube of beef with his fork. "He's not smarter than you."  
  
No one ever told him that before! Karl knew that Irvine has taken a liking for his younger brother, but now he is comparing both of them. Wondering why he said such a thing, his gaze fell to those piercing gray eyes. "No, Thomas is much talented than I am. And I'm his brother---I only did what was proper."  
  
Irvine groaned impatiently. "Damn, there's that word again. You mean it was proper to sacrifice your happiness for him?"  
  
"I haven't done that!" He bit defensively, "Why look at my situation, for example. I'd expect Thomas to be settled with children of his own long ago. I didn't think that anyone would ever ask----well, I didn't know if I'd decide to get married. But when I learned how I felt for Leon is more than friendship, and we are going to leave this city, even though----" He caught himself, but not in time.  
  
Irvine watched him, apparently waiting for him to finish the sentence. When the colonel didn't, he gently prompted him. "Even though?"  
  
"Even though I'll miss this old place." Karl admitted. "I practically grew to like working in here. And Thomas, he's not suited to this life. I suppose I'm worried."  
  
"Things could change. You never know what's around the next corner. Maybe Leon will decide that he doesn't want to go and leave this city." He popped a piece of bread crust into his mouth and looked him straight in the eyes. "Or maybe you'll change your mind."  
  
"No, certainly I won't. What about you---"  
  
"Me? I wouldn't want to go out there either. I like it here."  
  
"No, I mean haven't you ever had to do something you didn't really want to because it was the proper thing?"  
  
Irvine let his eyes drop from Karl's to the brooch on the uniform. He could have sworn the damned thing was glowing slightly, as though a flame burned within it. He stared at it, transfixed, and without warning his memory carried him back several years ago to a rainy night when his life changed. When he glanced up again at the colonel's open waiting expression, he felt a compelling urge to tell him about that night. He couldn't imagine why; he'd never talked about it with anyone. Not even Fiona or Van Flyheight. He knew he had to tell Karl, that he'd understand.  
  
He laid his napkin down next to his plate and leaned closer to him. "I know all about doing the proper thing. It was a lesson I learned when I was a ranger near the wind colony."  
  
"You were a RANGER?"  
  
He almost laughed at the surprise in his wide green eyes, "For three years. The pay wasn't great, but it was enough for a man to get married on. I was going to settle down with Sarah, make a nice little life with her. She didn't like my job for a while, the war was still ongoing, with shootings and rebel groups here and there to make it all worse." He shrugged. "Although I think what happened to me could have happened anywhere. But for all the fights I jumped into, and rebels that I arrested, I killed only one man." He expected a reaction from the colonel, but he sat, just listening, hardly breathing. Irvine went on.  
  
"Sarah had a brother, and Matthew was a mean, rotten kid on any day. Full of whiskey, he was no better than the devil himself. One night, a bar boy came running to my place to say his boss wanted me to come and get Matt. He was drunk and waving his gun around, threatening costumers. Bad for business, he said." He put his fork and knife across his plate. "Well, I got to the bar, and yeah, there was Matt, acting like a jackass, spoiling for a fight. Drunk as he was, he was still fast. Matt is either going to kill me, or I was going to kill him and save myself. I saved myself. I tried explaining it to Sarah, but she didn't see it that way. She said I didn't do the 'proper' thing, and called me a murderer."  
  
"But surely she didn't expect you to let her brother kill you."  
  
Irvine leaned his back against the wall and considered Karl's eyes. They were emerald tonight. When he spoke, his words were quiet. "I've had more than five years to think about it and to this day, I'm not certain she didn't. So that's why I think that what's proper and what's proper and what's right don't often cross paths."  
  
The colonel nodded, "And then you became a bandit."  
  
"Eventually. I sure couldn't be a lawman anymore. A lawman ends up drawing his revolver now and then. It's part of the job. After I shot Matt, I'd freeze every time I had to pull that gun. I was lucky I didn't get killed, too. So I quit. Money comes fast if you live in the fast lane, but I tried my hand at a lot of different lines of work afterwards."  
  
Karl studied him, his head tilted as though measuring him as a man. "I don't think you're a killer," he pronounced finally. The colonel's words were unaccountable comforting. Irvine didn't know why; they hardly knew each other. But he guessed him as much as he needed to.  
  
Smiling at him, he replied, "Well, I'll tell you one thing. I could have shot at that damned organoid of the doctor's without a twinge."  
  
----  
  
"Irvine." The colonel whispered. His voice was so fluttery next to Irvine's ear that it gave the pilot the goose bumps.  
  
In this green meadow they were alone, the only two people in the world. His luminous green jade eyes, fringed with dark lashes, pierced his soul with their innocent passion. He tightened his arm around his waist and kissed him again. The inside of Karl's mouth was slick and warm where his tongue grazed it. The feel of his hard on pressing against his leg started a fire in his blood that burned hotter each passing second, fanned by the scent of lavender and softness of his hair.  
  
He pulled away from the tempting mouth and pressed kisses to the colonel's throat, while his hand moved to his crotch area. As he stroked him, Karl gasped, and Irvine knew he was surprised and aroused. The buttons on the front of his deep violet uniform opened almost magically, under Irvine's fingers. Beneath the thin fabric of the colonel's white undershirt, he slowly reached his hands underneath its smooth planes. Karl's eyes drifted closed, and he leaned to those arms.  
  
"Karl." He groaned.  
  
"Yes, Irvine-----yes."  
  
The ripe promise in his low-throated words as all he needed to hear. He laid him on the soft bed of new grass, the oak branches overhead rustled in the light breeze. Lying beside him and propped on his elbow, Irvine lifted Karl's hand and removed the white glove covering it and pressed his mouth to kiss his fingers. Then he opened his hand and pressed another kiss into his smooth palm. Karl drew Irvine's head to his unzipped pants.  
  
A full-grown man used to formalities and yet he lay there, sweetly naïve. What an irresistible combination. He knew that no other person had touched him. He was his alone. And he needed him now.  
  
"Ich liebe dich---I love you."  
  
Irvine rolled over his hot, tangled bedding, but he didn't find sleep again till an hour before dawn.  
  
"I love you, Karl. Ich liebe dich--"  
  
Karl stood near his window, looking at the dark yard below. The words keep playing in his mind, again and again. Behind him, his bed was uncomfortable jumble of twisted sheets. A soft wind lifted his white curtains, and a half- moon slipped down the western side of the night sky.  
  
This was torture. At night he couldn't put his head on his pillow without seeing Irvine walk across the landscape of his sleep. And every dream was more brazen than the last. Tonight, he allowed him to unbutton his uniform and unzip his pants; and to put his bare hand on his bare skin---and allowed the hot wet mouth on his quivering----- ALLOWED him? No, he encouraged him. And it had felt wonderful.  
  
In that meadow he'd never seen anywhere but in these dreams, he'd call his name. He spoke it next to his ear, so softly that his breath had ruffled his ashen blonde locks and given him goose bumps. The desire in his eyes was unmistakable. Karl gripped the pane of his window. And worse, oh god, worst of all, when he'd lifted his left hand to remove his white glove to kiss his palm, he'd seen a flash of gold on his ring finger. He'd actually dreamt being engaged to Leon, and making love with Irvine.  
  
Damn that Doctor Dee, Karl thought harshly. And damn that purple organoid Esmeralda, too. He'd been content and happy before they walked into the stock room. He knew what his future would be. Now everything had changed.  
  
|continued---almost getting there| 


	7. Flames of Passion

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
----  
  
Part seven: flames of passion  
  
Early the following day, while a trace of dew still misted the dry scrubland surrounding the fort, Karl walked to his headquarters. The days of summer were wearing on, and dawn came down a bit later each morning. A faint pink glow tinted the remaining tree tops in the bare mountains over looking the military fort.  
  
Today he'd almost left the brooch on his dressing table. What if it's really was the cause of all his problems? But as soon as that idea crossed his mind, he'd stubbornly clip on the brooch. It was absolutely ridiculous to think that a small gold chain and a chunk of stone could create havoc in his well-ordered life and give him shameful thoughts about a man he had regarded with disdain just a few short weeks ago.  
  
He thought again of what Irvine had told him about being a ranger. He felt certain he'd been involved with the law somehow, and BEFORE he was on the other side of it. Apparently, Van and Thomas were right, little did they know: Irvine lived the life he lead before and came here to escape a personal tragedy. And that made things harder for Karl. Rather than making him weak, in the colonel's view he was all the more attractive.  
  
When he arrived at his headquarters, his eyes strayed to the next building and to its small window. He hadn't seen much of that side of the place before since Irvine occupied the space. But Karl knew what the scanty furniture looked like, and it wasn't at all difficult for him to imagine Irvine asleep on the bed. It would be warm in that room. He could picture him lying nearly naked on the mattress, boneless and relaxed, with just a sheet thrown over his hips. A one-day beard stubble would cast a shadow on his jaw, and Karl's imagination drifted down his throat to his chest to watch it rise and fall with the nearly imperceptible breathing of deep sleep. A combination of tenderness and ardor stirred within Karl, following immediately by scorching embarrassment. He looked up and down the quiet main path, as though his every thought was visible to anyone who might be looking at him.  
  
Weren't his dreams about Irvine had enough? He wondered as he dragged his gaze from his window. Now his mind was straying from forbidden images during his waking hours.  
  
He walked quickly to his own door and unlocked it. Immediately the wonderful scents of nearly a decade filled his head. As proud as he was that Leon had confessed his feelings for him, he told Irvine the truth: a wave of homesickness swept over him whenever he thought of leaving his office quarters, and worse, leaving it in Thomas's charge. If only they could stay near that place for awhile after they 'married', to begin their new lives here, and to give him a little more time with the base. But nothing in life remained the same; he thought as he walked through the stock room, no matter how much we might wish for it. He wished he had his younger brother's adventuresome spirit.  
  
In the dim stock room, he frowned and noticed the mess that the maintenance team have left and found some sets of windshield glass that was supposedly washed and move to the next area. With a sigh, he decided to get things moving himself and picked up a bucket to go out and pump some water.  
  
As soon as he put his hand on the knob, he was again struck with a vague feeling of light-headedness, as though he'd stood up too fast. But he hadn't been sitting. The bucket slipped from his hand and hit the floor with a thud. Fresh air would make him feel better, he decided, opening the door. The sun was bright and he pulled his cap closer to shade his eyes. He breathed deeply, if these spells didn't go away---he has to go to the infirmary sooner or later. The doctor's diagnosis would be probably lack of sleep.  
  
Finally, the feeling passed, and he was about to step out of the door when he saw something bright on the stoop.  
  
His heart flip-flopped in his chest, in a battle of joy and fear. At his feet was the basket that he'd taken to Irvine filled with cookies. He returned it to him filled with flowers. Black-eyed Susans, bachelor's buttons, daisies, Queen Anne's lace, and graceful stalks of lavender, all damp with dew, tumbled out of the basket. They were beautiful.  
  
As the colonel reached down to pick up the basket he heard the sound of water splashing. He leaned out the door and saw Irvine shaving in front of a mirror hung on the wall. A towel was slung over his bare shoulder and his razor flashed in the morning sun. His slacks were buttoned this time, but they hung so low, they seemed suspended on his hipbones.  
  
He was achingly handsome, he thought. He looked at his shoulders, at the light and shadow created by the movement of muscles under his skin, at the tight, narrow tapering of his waist. He knew he shouldn't look at him this way, but he was impossible to ignore.  
  
"Irvine?" His voice sounded small and high to his own ears.  
  
Irvine looked up at the sound of Karl's voice. He stood in the doorway, clutching the basket of flowers he'd left for him, looking hesitant and vulnerable. With one quick glance in the mirror, he scraped the last of the lather off his face and wiped it with a towel. Then he threw both the towel and the blade on the nearby table, and walked slowly towards him.  
  
He gestured at the basket. "Thank you for the flowers. I---well---" His cheeks turned a becoming shade of pink, and his eyes were wide and full of a strange emotion he couldn't hide.  
  
"I know that you've felt it, too," Irvine said simply.  
  
Karl nodded tersely and then lifted the brooch from its resting place on his right chest and held it out to him. "It has to be because of what Doctor Dee told me about this brooch he gave me. He said if I wore it under a full moon, it would draw my true love to me, and if I kissed that person, we'd be bound for life. Then you kissed me at the New Helix Midsummer event. You weren't supposed to. Leon was supposed to kiss me, and you, suppose to kiss Thomas. And now this is happening to us. But I know it's only the power of suggestion, It MUST be. There is no such thing as magic."  
  
"Maybe not, Karl." He said, smiling at him, "but the Doctor didn't tell me that story. I didn't even know about the brooch. And I can't stop thinking about you. Or dreaming about you."  
  
His pink cheeks reddened. "But---but it's my brother, not I----"  
  
He didn't want to be reminded of that. Instead, he stepped closer and ran his hands up and down his arms, racking the fabric of his sleeves. He'd never noticed before the dimple on his left cheek every time he spoke. Or the graceful arch of his silken brows. "He might change his mind."  
  
"AND I'm acquainted with some one else," Karl said, looking around as if someone might be watching.  
  
"I might change your mind."  
  
"No Irvine, I shouldn't be out here with you. It isn't proper."  
  
"I told you I don't give a damn about what's proper." He said, passion lowering his words to a rumble. "I only care about what's right. It's right with you and me." Irvine could hardly believe he was saying this. He'd never expected to tell that to any person again, much less Karl Schubaltz. But he meant it.  
  
He gripped his gloved hand and stared down into his pretty, upturned face. His faint, sweet fragrance went right to his heart, compelling to kiss the corner of his mouth, the smooth spot below his ear, the tip of his nose.  
  
"Karl," he whispered, and with a small anguished cry, the colonel dropped the basket and flung his arms around him.  
  
----  
  
Inexorably, the plans went forward for the colonel's leave and journeying with Leon, as if they both had a life and momentum of their own. And even though he stopped wearing the amulet, he and Irvine took every opportunity to meet. Theirs was a difficult secret to keep. He wanted to chatter about him to anyone who would listen. Of course, he couldn't, but if it was noticed that he'd stop complaining about the slacking pilot next to his headquarters, it wasn't remarked upon.  
  
Irvine found him easy to converse with, and Karl learned things about him he was certain he'd share with very few others. He talked about his years as a ranger. The colonel touched on the edges of his history as the responsible officer and older brother. Irvine had good ideas for heightening the defense of the imperial army and Karl suggested ways that how his skills with customizing zoids might expand.  
  
And whether they were talking or not, they couldn't keep their hands off each other.  
  
Sometimes he'd go to his place early in the morning and they'd spend half an hour together, sharing fevered urgent kisses, made all the more intense by the secrecy forced upon them. Other times, Irvine would come to him if he is working late in his headquarters, bringing supper from the private cafeteria. Inevitably, the brief evenings would end up with the two of them in each other's arms, frantically trying to get enough of what was never enough.  
  
During the process of fixing his paper works and going to farewell parties held by his fellow officers, he will stood in one corner, watching his brother and Leon mingle with others and getting stuffed merry with liquor and food. Looking at them, he felt like the biggest hypocrite in the world. It wasn't that he was no longer chaste, in the technical sense. The fires between him and Irvine burned hot (though not as hot as hellfire, he was miserably positive.), but their relationship remained unconsummated. Just barely.  
  
To justify the time he spent at the headquarters, Karl's used the very real excuse that he was tying up all the loose ends before turning the responsibility to Thomas. The lieutenant was showing infinitesimal improvement in his business skills, easing the colonel's mind to the same degree.  
  
Elation and guilt wracked him whenever he thought of Irvine, which was most of his waking hours. His sense of duty ran strong and deep. Irvine had said that the right and proper were not always the same. But doing the proper thing had never produced so much guilt----or rapture---as his relationship with Irvine. What was he going to do? He asked himself again and again.  
  
"You can't go with him, Karl." Irvine said early one morning as they sat together on a bench behind the building eating breakfast. The low sun glinted off the dark streaks of his rough hair, and it made him squint. The colonel's departure was two and a half weeks away. "We're meant for each other. I can feel it and I know you can too. Do what's right, not what's proper." A muscle in his jaw tightened.  
  
"But if you give your word to someone, it IS the right thing to honor your pledge. Isn't it, Irvine?"  
  
"Not if both of you will be miserable," he said. He put down his coffee cup and took his gloved hands in his tight grip. "Do you love him?"  
  
"Leon has been a longtime friend, he's fair and decent. I have a lot of respect for him. Everyone here respects him as they respect me."  
  
"That's not what I asked you, Karl. Do YOU love him?"  
  
He dropped his green gaze to his lap. How could he say yes? Love had never been mentioned, not when Leon proposed to him, or at any time since. And although he'd known him for years, they'd spend very little time together even before they became engaged. He'd been so busy getting ready for their trip, and he'd been occupied with his leave preparations. When he didn't answer, Irvine gently removed his cap and raised his chin with a finger, forcing him to look at him.  
  
"I'll tell you what I think," he said, a trace of anger in his voice. "I don't think Leon was planning not to marry. It will be taboo. When he suggested about taking this 'journey', he told you that you will be traveling to certain places right?"  
  
"Someone offered him a deal that he could travel certain places, these are uncharted colonies" Karl retorted, "It is an honor that he chose me to be his companion to such journey."  
  
"Uncharted colonies are risky, and probably those who offered it knew that if he could bring at least a notable officer along, it would be that much better. So they can use your influence for territory expansion. And which man here in this place fit that bill?"  
  
Karl's insides clenched, but he said nothing. The seed of this troubling suspicion had already been planted when Leon implied it at the New Helix midsummer event.  
  
Irvine continued with his voice tight. "And somewhere along the way, you got the idea that you aren't sensitive enough, or desirable enough to attract a mate, so when Leon proposed to you, you accepted."  
  
Then somehow, the colonel realized in his heart he hadn't merely accepted the proposal. He was grateful to get it, pathetically grateful.  
  
"Are you trying to imply that he does not care at all?" Karl tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but even how stoical sounding it seems; it trembled with choked back tears.  
  
Irvine pulled him into his grasp and drew his ashen blonde head to his shoulder. His voice lost its anger and became suffused with tenderness. "No, I don't mean that at all. I know Leon is a good man. He cares about you too, and I know he respects you." He rested his chin on the top of his crown of blond hair and let out a deep sigh. I just wish you weren't going away with him."  
  
Karl rested his cheek against his shirt, and wondered why heartache was the reward for doing right.  
  
-continued, yes I'm getting there- 


	8. Torn

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
NOTE: Yes, you guys hate cliffhangers---but I love it! Wee! ^^; another cliffhanger chapter, almost nearing to the conclusion!!!  
  
----  
  
Part eight: Torn  
  
"Do come on, bro." Thomas called from the hall. "We were supposed to be in New Helix at seven o'clock. It's already seven-fifteen and Leon went on without us."  
  
"I'll be there in a minute," Karl answered. He looked under his table and pulled open the drawers. He patted the pockets of his uniform, rifted at the stockpile of paper works and scanned the floor.  
  
It just wasn't here. The brooch was nowhere to be found. Even though he was no longer wore it, he'd look at it from time to time, trying to decide if it had truly brought him and Irvine together. Taking it off hadn't dimmed their attraction to each other.  
  
He'd been so distracted lately, he'd probably put it in some safe place. Except now he couldn't remember where that might be. Not that he'd planned to wear it tonight. Not after what had happened when he'd worn it to the last social event. Everything in his life had been turned upside down and become hopelessly complicated.  
  
Even though the brooch didn't have any mystical powers, there was no point in tempting providence by wearing it again. But he didn't like not knowing where it was.  
  
"Kaa-rl!" Thomas called again, his impatience obvious in his singsongy tone.  
  
Karl smoothed his hair and placed his cap. Taking a deep breath, he hoped that the event tonight at New Helix would be uneventful.  
  
----  
  
The festivities were well underway and Karl avoided the stupid punch bowl as much as possible and looked for Thomas to take his place talking with some younger cadets so he could get some air. But when he finally spotted his brother, headed toward the door, he saw a sparkling red-purple stone resting on the upper breast pocket of Thomas' proper uniform.  
  
His brooch! Now he knew why he couldn't find it. The lieutenant had taken it without bothering to ask permission. He must have thought it goes wonderful with his other set of imperial uniform (which officers wore nicely in gatherings). And he must have put the brooch in his pocket while they walked over here so Karl wouldn't see it. They'd certainly discuss it when they got home.  
  
Karl glanced around for someone else to spell him when Doctor Dee found his way to his table.  
  
"Here is to one of the greatest officers ever to grace Guylos. They've got you stuck near that punch bowl again, eh, Colonel?" Doctor Dee said musingly. Although Karl would likely to enjoy talking to him, aside about the stupid brooch that is. However, tonight his mind is elsewhere. The best he could manage were polite, distracted responses.  
  
"Me and the boys were just saying the other day what a lucky man your friend Leon is," the doctor continued. He nodded towards Leon where he stood talking with the crowd of young people in the door way. "Not only did he get a good companion, he got a notable officer just when he needed one for the journey. Yes, such a lucky man he is."  
  
Karl, who'd also been looking at Leon, turned his eyes sharply to the old man's florid face. Was that what EVERYONE thought? But he smiled at him politely. "Thank you, doctor."  
  
"It's quite sad to see that you also have to leave your duty. But well, people have their reasons. Why, I remember when Van took a temporary leave, it so happen he is planning to marry Fiona after all! And those two---well, they surprised almost everyone when they eloped!" He let out a cackle that reminded the colonel of a hen that just laid an egg.  
  
"I'm afraid I won't be serving punch just now, Doctor." Karl interjected over his high-pitch chortle, hoping to distract him and send him on his way.  
  
Pulling out a big white handkerchief, he mopped his sweating forehead, and then stuffed the square linen into his back pocket. "What? Oh, it's just a joke. Colonel." He opened his jacket to reveal a silver flask. "I got all the punch I need right here."  
  
He waved and shuffled off, and Karl watched him go with a feeling of relief. It was hot and stuffy and he wanted a break. He made his way to the door, looking for Leon.  
  
Outdoors, the heat and noise of the dance faded, and Karl heard the faint call of crickets. He wandered a bit further over the dry grass and found a hay bale from the last midsummer party, seeing no one was around, he decided to sit on it. It was a lovely evening, not too warm, and lighted by a full moon, the one under which Irvine kissed him that first time.  
  
Irvine. He wasn't here tonight, and the colonel supposed he should be grateful for that. It would be difficult to have both Leon and him in the same room----even a room as big as the New Helix social hall---and pretend indifference. If Leon even noticed.  
  
Several people had mentioned they wish that he wouldn't resign and take his leave. One week from tonight, he would be off and then---to the arms of his friend/lover Leon. In one week, he'd be gone from Thomas and his old place, gone from his post-  
  
Gone from Irvine,  
  
He put his elbows on his knees and rested his chin on his gloved hands. It couldn't go on like this. It wasn't fair to any of them. He'd have to decide. He looked across the moon frosted landscape to where couples were seated on hay bales. While none of them were engaged in what he would have once referred to as immodest behavior, he noticed heads together and arms linked. He felt, rather than saw, the affection and yearning that emanated from them like an invisible energy. Was he only aware of that energy now that he had experienced it?  
  
One couple was more demonstrative than the others. They stood in the deepest shadows of the oak tree and clung to each other with a palpable, desperate passion. Their behavior was indeed immodest. Sighing, Karl supposed he'd better go and see if he could find Leon to speak to them. He certainly didn't feel equal to the task. He rose and walked toward the hall, glancing back at the two. For a fraction of a second, he saw what he thought was the small red spark of a match flare between them. That grass was too dry to be carelessly lightning matches. The whole field would go up.  
  
As Karl neared the hall, he paused to brush the hay off his slacks in the yellow light pouring through the open doors. Around the lanterns by the door, moths fluttered in circles, bumping the glass chimneys.  
  
"Bro, there you are. I've been looking for you." Thomas hurried up to him from the darkness beyond. His usual pallor was flushed as if he was struck with a fever and his sharp green emerald eyes were unusually wide. His breath came in short gasps as though he'd been running.  
  
Karl clutched his arm. "Thomas! What happened? You don't look well."  
  
"I'll be all right, but really, Karl, I think I'd like to go home now." Suspended from its gold chain near the lieutenant's slim neck, the brooch glowed like an ember in the lantern light.  
  
"Yes, of course, we'll leave right now. I'll just tell Leon."  
  
"NO! No, you stay. I can get home by myself. I'll be fine."  
  
Karl had never known his brother to act like this. "But you can't walk unescorted. It wouldn't be proper." The word slipped out before he had a chance to think. Proper----it was what Irvine talked about.  
  
"I'm not worried," Thomas said. "I just want to get away from here. I need some time to myself. Please." He gave his older brother a searching, almost anguished look that scared Karl.  
  
The colonel released his arm with some reluctance. "All right, Tommy," he said quietly. "You go on. I'll follow soon."  
  
The lieutenant whirled and sped across the grass. When he reached the road, he started to run. Karl watched him until he was out of sight. What could have happened to him? Had someone said something to hurt his brother?  
  
He hoped it's not what he thinks it is. Could it---that Thomas know?  
  
Suddenly Leon came around the corner of the building.  
  
"Oh, Leon," he said. "I'm so glad I found you."  
  
"Karl, what's wrong? You look so upset," he said.  
  
"It's Thomas. I don't know if he's ill or hurt---he wouldn't tell me. But he ran away, saying he wanted to go home. It worries me that he's out there by himself. Will you go and find him, please, Leon, and make sure he gets home safely?"  
  
He turned to look at the direction Thomas had taken, his face full of concern. "Yes, of course I'll go. He shouldn't be wandering around at this time of the night."  
  
Just then Karl felt a light pinch on his elbow. With a start, he turned to see Irvine.  
  
"Good evening, colonel sir," he said with the right amount of formality. "Leon."  
  
"Mr. Irvine, wait. If I could have just a moment of your time," Leon said, his tone commanding, challenging.  
  
Karl froze, his heart bumping around his chest like a bee in a jar. He watched Irvine turn slowly toward them, a chill, blank smile fixed on his face. Suddenly, he knew what an outlaw might have felt facing Irvine over the point of a gun. God, no, he thought, please don't let this be happening. Leon didn't know---couldn't know-  
  
"What can I do for you, Leon?" Irvine asked evenly.  
  
"Irvine, you could do me a tremendous favor, as a matter if fact." Leon looked as tensed and tightly drawn as Karl ever seen him.  
  
Irvine straightened, squaring his shoulders. The wind blew his hair, and the loose ends of his tied bandana behind his shoulders. "And what might that be?"  
  
"If you could escort the colonel home, I appreciate it very much. I need to attend to a small emergency, and I don't know if I'll be back in time to escort him myself."  
  
Karl quietly released his breath.  
  
Irvine relaxed ever so slightly, too. "Sure, I'd be glad to."  
  
Leon nodded once and rushed off.  
  
----  
  
Irvine pulled him aside. "I hope you're ready to leave now because I want to talk to you," he said, his voice stern.  
  
"W-Why?" Karl never realized how intimidating he could be.  
  
"I think you know why." He took his arm and led him away from the din of music and laughter. Karl felt tension in his hand where it gripped his elbow. Irvine maintained his silence as they walked through the darkness, and the colonel was afraid to break it.  
  
Irvine didn't speak because he was so angry, he was afraid he'd say something he'd regret. He knew what he had to do, but he also knew that when he'd said the words, there would be no retracting them. It tied his stomach in knots.  
  
He felt Karl's apprehension as he walked beside him. He wished he could reassure him, but deeper than his anger it was jealousy. He was jealous of Leon, and it made him feel small.  
  
As they neared his headquarters he stopped and turned to him. The moon highlighted his eyes and hair. He looked like an angel, beautiful and ethereal. If only someone had told him how good-looking he was while he was growing up he might not have felt compelled to go with a man he didn't love, and who didn't love him, just because he'd asked.  
  
"I didn't like the feeling I had back there, Karl---that man was going to accuse me of fiddling around with his comrade. I don't like sneaking around, or having to pretend that you're nothing more than a neighbor to me. And I hate like hell that next Saturday night, he's going to take you into his bed and claim what's mine."  
  
"Irvine!" The colonel gasped, but the former mercenary continued. He had to get the words out before his courage failed him.  
  
"That's the plain truth. I don't like any of it. But I can't change it. You're the only one who can. It's time, Karl. You have to decide. Me or Leon."  
  
"Irvine, not tonight."  
  
He held up his hand to stop his protests. "When then? Your leave is only a week away."  
  
"Give me a couple of days---please."  
  
He threw up his hands. "Why not wait till morning of the departure? There's no hurry," he snapped. He felt his anger slipping away from him.  
  
"Irvine, tomorrow or Friday---it is all the same. If I decide not to be with Leon, it will be just as humiliating to him."  
  
Irvine nodded. "All right, a day or two. And I'm going to stay away so that you can make up your mind. When you've decided, you know where to find me."  
  
The colonel looked small and defenseless. The idea of not seeing him was hell. But he knew he'd better get used to it if he decided----He pulled him into his arms, savoring his softness. Breathing in the fragrance of him, he removed his cap and ran down his hands down the silken dark blonde strands of his hair. "I want you to be happy, Karl. But I want to be happy too."  
  
"I know, I want that for all of us."  
  
Irvine tipped his face up to his and covered his mouth with a long desperate kiss that came from the bottom of his heart. Then he released him. "Go on in, now. I'll wait to hear from you."  
  
"Good night, Irvine." He walked towards the building, into his headquarters, his slacks brushing over the grass and scattering seeds in the moonlight. Just before he reached the front door, he turned and gave him a small wave.  
  
Irvine waved back and waited until the colonel was inside. Then he headed towards his own quarters, feeling more alone than he did the day he left his duty to pursue being a bandit.  
  
-Continued, it's almost there- 


	9. Chose

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
NOTE: I'm so inspired!!!! :: grovels at the Karl x Irvine fan art site. Sankyuu for the information from fraulein colonel ^^ :: *_*!!!! I think I will make more Karl x Irvine in the future by just looking at it :: grovels some more ::  
  
This is the second or third to the last chapter folks, after this I'll continue my other titles O_o;; I promise. Wah! It's predictable!  
  
----  
  
Part nine: Chose  
  
Karl dragged through the next few days. He barely slept, and when he did, his dreams of Irvine were filled with the pain of separation. He'd see him standing in front of his quarters, begging him not to leave, while Leon escorts him to the whale king and whisk him away. The dreams were so vivid, sometimes he woke up crying. NOW, it's not like him to cry, unless it's a deep personal conflict---he can't recall the last time he DID actually cried because of that reason.  
  
Once, he'd glanced up at his window and saw him standing there, tall and so very handsome, watching him. He sent him a questioning look, but all he could do was tilt his cap and hurry into his office. After that, he began worrying about him. Sometimes he'd close his quarters in the middle of the afternoon and he'd wondered if he was sick or losing interest in customizing his Saix. He owed him an answer, but all he'd done was wrestle with the consequences of either decision.  
  
His brother, the lieutenant Thomas Schubaltz, was strangely subdued. He refused to admit anything is bothering him. The brooch re-appeared on his desk, and Karl chose to let the matter die. Sometimes his brother would disappear from duty for hours, and the colonel had no idea where he went. If he asked, Thomas would become evasive and his face would redden. He came to the imperial headquarters almost grudgingly, with the bored belligerence of the worst officer he'd ever encountered.  
  
On Friday afternoon, Moon bay came to the colonel's headquarters to wish him good luck with a basketful of goodies. "Tomorrow will be a big day," he said, and gave Karl an arch smile. "Have you decided how many cookies you'll need for the journey with Leon?"  
  
Thomas, who was sitting at the desk struggling with the ledger book, heard this and sent Karl a remorseful look before he jumped up and ran to the store room. Alarmed, the colonel hustled Moonbay out of the headquarters, promising he'd come down later to discuss the cookies.  
  
"Lieutenant?" Karl called, stressing some formality. What in the world has gotten to his younger brother? He found Thomas sitting on a stool in the corner, dabbing at his eyes with his handkerchief. He didn't look up, and idly fingered the wires and gadgets that has strung out of an open crate box. Karl sighed. This seems to be something personal to talk about.  
  
"Tommy, won't you tell me what's bothering you?" he said softly, addressing Thomas with his childhood nickname.  
  
When he finally spoke, his quiet voice trembled so with tears that Karl's heart ached for him. "Please, Karl, can I leave? I just don't want to be here today."  
  
The colonel walked over and crouched before him, taking off his cap and putting a comforting hand over Thomas' cold palm. But the lieutenant refused to look at him. "Thomas, what is it? Tell me, what's troubling you?"  
  
His green gaze flicked to Karl's for just an instant, and he saw raw, naked guilt in his brother's eyes. Then he looked down again. "I don't want to talk about it, that's it, Karl. Please don't ask me anymore."  
  
Karl released his hand. "All right, but if you change your mind, will you let me know? We're brothers, family. We should be able to go to each other when we're in trouble."  
  
Thomas remained silent.  
  
The colonel sighed. "Go ahead and take a day-off. I can manage."  
  
Immediately, Thomas brightened and jumped off the stool so fast it teetered. He ran so fast that his uniform whipped the doorframe, and Karl heard his footsteps pound over the flooring and out to the hall to the main entrance. He sank down on the stool.  
  
He was at a loss to what to think. He looked at the closed back door. There was only one person he could talk to and he shouldn't go to him. He missed Irvine keenly.  
  
----  
  
The days had slipped by quickly. His time was almost up. He hadn't seen Leon all week, either, and he had to admit that seemed strange, even if it was true that this was a partnership of convinence. Karl knew he had to talk to Leon, before he makes any decision, if only to re-assure himself that the blue-haired man had chosen him for something other than his military connections. If he went after him now, he will have to leave his office, but surely he had the right to do that if tomorrow will be his leave.  
  
It was a sultry afternoon, one that held promise of a thunderstorm toward evening. As he passed to the other quarters, soldiers and personnel salutes him and offered their best wishes. He was so much part of the imperial army; how could he bear to live it for a tiring journey of remote wilderness? Yet how could he cheat these people and Leon out of the journey they'd so looked forward to?  
  
Karl came to a church, where he heard Leon has stopped into few hours ago. It was a modest little structure with a bell out in front. It was embraced on both sides by ponderosa pines that kept it cool even in the hottest summer. Behind it ran a shallow, sparkling brook. It was a very romantic site, far cry for the dry barren grounds near the base.  
  
As he climbed the two front steps, the door swung open suddenly, and Leon stood there.  
  
"Well---Karl, uh, what a surprise!" He looked harried, as though he were late for an appointment.  
  
"I haven't seen you all week, Leon. Not since you escorted Thomas home. I was wondering how you are." Karl felt embarrassed to be bothering him.  
  
"I didn't think I was supposed to see the colonel sad once before his departure, right Karl?" He laughed in a forced, preoccupied way, and continued down the path. "Don't worry, I'll be here tomorrow. Ten o'clock right?"  
  
"Are you on your way somewhere? Maybe I could walk with you." Karl found himself striding swiftly to keep up with him.  
  
"I'm on my way to offer some advice to a troubled group of youths. I don't think you should be there." He turned and walked backward to face him but didn't stop.  
  
"BUT I could walk part of the way with you, Leon, there's something I'd like to talk to you about." Karl heard the note of anxiety in his voice, despite his effort to sound calm.  
  
Leon paused and put a hand to his smooth chin. "I'll tell you what. If I can, I'll stop to your headquarters later than afternoon. Otherwise, we can talk about it tomorrow. All right?"  
  
The colonel stared at him. He had a kind face. He knew he was a good man. But it bothered him that he never seemed to have spent time with him. Was this how his life with him would be? "All right, Leon," he said softly. "All right."  
  
He patted his shoulder. "That's my man. Whatever it is, we'll get it sorted out after the departure. You'll see. It will be just fine."  
  
Karl watched Leon hurry away, left behind once more. At that moment the realization came to him with amazing clarity, like a summer's night lit by lighting. He couldn't be with Leon. When he thought of him, no emotion stirred any longer. Not even gratitude.  
  
He still liked Leon. But he loved Irvine.  
  
And that made all the difference.  
  
-Continued and really getting there- 


	10. That is Proper

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
Note: It's not yet the final chapter o.o the next one is. But the spoiler is already here. Argh!  
  
----  
  
Part ten: The proper thing  
  
Now that the colonel had reached his decision, he felt amazingly free and light. He will not leave with Leon tomorrow morning. He wasn't the first man to change his mind. Far better to disappoint a few people than to live a life of regrets. It would be not be easy to tell Leon, but he looked forward to the joy of telling Irvine. Karl practically flew outside his headquarters and down across the other building. Outside, he stopped and smiled at his office with sheer happiness. He will never have to leave his post.  
  
Karl bounded up to Irvine's door, only to find it locked. He knocked, thinking he might be upstairs, but he heard only silence. The way both he and Thomas disappearing and acting mysteriously, he'll just worried himself gray-haired. He was bound to come back with his dinner; he always did. Karl would leave him a note.  
  
"Please meet me next door as soon as you--" No, wait. He sat with the pen suspended over the paper. How much more fitting to meet him under the big oak next to the dance hall in New Helix. After all, that's where it had all began for them, under a full Midsummer's Eve moon, with the most wonderful kiss he'd ever experienced. He wrote the note and put it in an envelope, then took it out to his back door and wedged it in the frame where he knew he'd see it.  
  
For the next two hours, he puttered around in his office, sifting and re- arranging his desk job He was too excited to concentrate on anything else.  
  
At last he heard the muffled sound of footsteps from outside. He was back. He listened as he walked from the front to back, envisioning his hand on the knob as he opened the back door. When he heard it, he went to the mirror in the store room to smooth his hair and fix his cap. In the glass, he saw that his cheeks were nearly crimson with elation. He certainly wouldn't need to pinch any color into them. He cocked his head at the sound of the front door slamming, followed by boot heels trudging at the cemented ground. His footsteps were like music to his yearning heart.  
  
He came out of the store room and headed toward his own door. Irvine received the note  
  
/I'm coming to you Irvine---I'm coming/  
  
The sun was just setting into a flame red horizon when Karl turned down the road, instructed a soldier to drive him to New Helix, and right to that memorable hall. His pulse thundered in his head, joy and anticipation filled him with such happy exhilaration, he couldn't remember the last time he felt so good.  
  
There it was, soon enough, up ahead on the road is the now deserted dance hall, and that wonderful oak tree. And in the gathering dusk, he saw his dark spiky haired head and felt such an outpouring of love for him, he nearly ran through the jeep's door and strode swiftly the last few yards.  
  
"Irvine!" he called.  
  
But he wasn't alone.  
  
Thomas was with him.  
  
A sense of impending calamity descended upon the colonel, but he wasn't sure why. He only knew that something was VERY wrong.  
  
"Oh, big bro-I mean, colonel sir!" his brother said, with a hard brightness. "What are you doing here?"  
  
From the other side of the road, Leon approached. "Well, this is a surprise." He laughed, awkwardly. "What are we all doing here?"  
  
Yes, what were they all doing here, Karl wondered.  
  
"I know you already knew it before hand, Karl. Our secret is out." Thomas said. His face was white as paper as his eyes skittered to Leon, then to the ashen blonde colonel. He moved a step closer to Irvine and regarded him shyly. "We have been 'together' for nearly two months, and well---he proposed."  
  
"Thomas! Just a---" Irvine began, but the lieutenant leaned against his arm and interrupted him. Thomas gave his brother a shaky smile. "I know that Irvine will be able to help me figure things out when you'll finally take your leave and join with Leon to a journey. I've been kind of worried about that."  
  
Karl gaped at his brother, feeling though as a red horn had swerved towards his body. Or a man had stabbed him in the back.  
  
He glanced at Leon, who looked at the way he felt. Of course---the news was stunning, even to the uninformed. Only Irvine wore that cool blank expression he'd seen before. Certainly, he did. He probably didn't expect Karl to find out that he'd been philandering with both of the Schubaltz brothers.  
  
"Karl---" Irvine said,  
  
Finding his voice, Karl jumped in. He didn't want to hear anything he had to say. He jammed his clammy gloved hands into the pockets of his uniform. "I'm sure Mr. Irvine will be a tremendous help after we've gone, don't you think so, Leon?" As he said this, he stared at Irvine, whose only response was the tightening of his jaw.  
  
"Uh, yes, certainly, a big help." Leon bumbled.  
  
Suddenly all the pieces fell together and made sense. Irvine had always been interested with his younger brother. They both knew it; after all, he'd thought it was Thomas he kissed at that first event. He'd as much as told him so. Then at the last event, Thomas had worn the brooch and, oh, God, Karl, realized. They were probably the passionate couple he'd seen under this very tree. No wonder Thomas had been upset. Karl had been rattled, too, when he'd kissed him. His kisses were so----consuming. Apparently, the only thing that the Doctor's amulet had revealed was that Irvine was attracted to Thomas. And if he convinced Karl to let Leon go to journey alone, then he'd have BOTH brothers. Outrage and desperate hurt collided in his heart. Did he really think he wouldn't find out? He was ten times worse than he'd originally believed.  
  
Karl tipped his cap and placed a hand on Leon's shoulder. "Well Lieutenant, that's the secret to happiness---finding the person who's proper for you. And Leon is the proper man for me."  
  
"Naturally we hope you'll be at our departure tomorrow morning, Mr. Irvine." Leon added.  
  
Irvine gazed steadily at the colonel. "Sorry, I'm going to be busy tomorrow. As a matter of fact, I really should be getting back to my Lighting Saix. But I hope you'll be very happy."  
  
Karl's throat felt like it had a rock in it as he watched him walk away on long, straight legs, with his head up. With his voice barely under control, he turned to Thomas.  
  
"We have a big day tomorrow, Lieutenant. We'd better go home ourselves. Leon, are you coming with us?"  
  
His expression was pensive and he glanced up at the green canopy of the oak. "No, I believe I'll sit here for awhile. You two go on."  
  
"All right then. Come on, Thomas."  
  
His brother let his green eyes linger on Leon a moment longer. "Good bye, Leon."  
  
"Good bye, Tommy."  
  
----  
  
In the darkness, Karl sat at his desk in his headquarters, staring blankly at the accolades and medals he earned during his early years. He could hear the soft ticking of the wall clock, but there were no telltale footsteps on the floor or steps next door. Irvine wasn't there, and right now he wouldn't care if he walked out into rangeland beyond this fort and disappeared forever.  
  
His handkerchief was a damp wad in his hand. At least he'd manage to stop crying. For thirty minutes he huddled here, trying to force back tears of his anguish behind the drawn window shades.  
  
He intended to go home with Thomas, but didn't think he could bear to talk to him about Irvine. And what would he say anyway? Would he tell him, 'Don't trust Irvine, Tommy. I've been trysting with him myself for the last six weeks, even though I'm engaged with Leon.' A little moan crept up his throat at the thought. Instead, he'd made an excuse to Thomas and come here.  
  
It might strike people as odd, if they knew, that in his mourning he'd chosen the office as his refuge. But it wasn't odd to him. This office had always felt more like home to him than the place where he slept. The house had been their mother's domain and Thomas after she died.  
  
Plain stoic Karl had his headquarters, and military influence anyway.  
  
Plain stoic Karl, who'd felt beautiful for a little while, when that beguiling, defiling fraud Irvine had showered him with flattery.  
  
Again and again he pictured that dreadful scene at the New Helix social hall. He could see him standing under that oak with Thomas, obviously stunned to be found out. That smooth expression didn't fool him. But everything else had. The long, searching looks, the things he'd said to him, the way he'd touch him, the dreams----  
  
Karl pressed a fist to his mouth to keep the humiliation and grinding heartache from turning into tears. He'd known from the beginning that what he was doing wasn't proper OR right, that he was abusing Leon's trust by letting Irvine coax him into lustful thoughts and behavior. And worst of all, this behavior had come to him so easily with Irvine, it had felt so natural.  
  
It had felt like love.  
  
----  
  
And now? He leaned back against his chair and drew a trembling breath that began in his soul. There was nothing left to do but leave with Leon tomorrow morning, just as they'd planned. He couldn't bear to remain in this place forever and run the daily risk of seeing Irvine.  
  
Over the past few weeks, he'd gained enough perspective to realize that he and Leon weren't an ideal match, but they'd probably fare well enough. In time, his respect for such good, kind man would grow into quiet, contented devotion. Perhaps tonight's shame would fade, and so would the love for the sun-tanned, spiky haired ex-mercenary that, despite everything, lingered in his heart. The wound was yet too raw, too new for anger to settle in. Right now, all he felt was pain.  
  
Just then, he heard the front door open. Karl spun around in his chair, terrified that Irvine's bad grace had led him here to try and somehow justify or explain his actions.  
  
Instead, in the unlighted gloom, he recognized the silhouette of his brother.  
  
"Bro?" His voice sounded broken and childlike.  
  
"Thomas!" Relieved, he fumbled in the drawer for a match, and then lit a lamp. "I'm back here."  
  
The lieutenant approached slowly. When he stepped into the narrow circle of lamplight, Karl saw that he looked just as wan and miserable as he had for the past two weeks. The brittle joy he'd shown earlier at the social hall was gone. Even his hair looked limp. Had he learned the truth about himself and Irvine?  
  
"I waited for you to come home---I wanted to talk to you."  
  
Karl stuffed his hankie into his pocket and busily pushed at some papers on the desk. "Oh, I just wanted to check on a couple of things. It's my last chance, you know." He smiled up at his brother. "Well, Thomas, what is it?"  
  
Thomas clenched his hands together so tightly, his fingers were white. "I know you've wondered if something is bothering me. Well, I-I need to tell you about it before tomorrow, before you go away," he said, sounding grief stricken. "Especially since I don't know when I'll see Leon and you again."  
  
After days of trying to pry Thomas's troubles out of him, Karl tiredly wished he'd decided to reveal them sooner. But he had to pretend that nothing was wrong, so he pasted an encouraging expression on his face and motioned him to the chair in front of the desk.  
  
"You know I'll help if I can, sit down."  
  
Thomas sat cautiously, as though he might decide to bolt at any second.  
  
"Remember the social event a couple of weeks ago? The night I left early?"  
  
Karl nodded  
  
"I ran away because something so very strange happened, I just didn't know what else to do." He glanced up at Karl, his eyes full of guilt, and then lowered his face to his tightly grasped hands on the table. Karl heard him take a deep breath. "You know how hot it gets in the hall, and I'd been a bit light-headed ever since we got there. So I decided to go outside for a while. But it was even more than that. I walked to the doorway and looked up at the big full moon---I felt, I don't know, PULLED out into the yard, like I couldn't help myself."  
  
Involuntarily, Karl gripped the arms of his chair. He remembered very well that feeling. Thomas had been wearing his brooch that night. Could he bear to hear how his brother fell under the spell of Irvine once again and a full moon? Struggling to keep his emotions curbed beneath a carefully bland expression, he gathered courage to listen to the rest of Thomas's story.  
  
"Well, I wandered out to that big oak and sat on the hay bale. It was such a beautiful night." He looked across the dark office, deep in the memory of it, and for a moment his troubled face smoothed out. "The stars looked like a million bright crystals up there, and the moon turned everything silver- gold. The grass smelled sweet. I think I head a coyote howling in the hills far away----it was like I could see and hear and smell everything." He glanced at Karl. "I guess that sounds funny, doesn't it."  
  
Karl shook his head. "No, Tommy." He replied softly. "I know what you mean."  
  
"Then," and he began wringing his hands, "then I heard a man's voice behind me, a man's voice---"  
  
Karl's grip on the chair arms tightened. Oh god, why did Thomas feel he had to tell him this? Wasn't it enough that he'd been always been the most attractive, the most popular with others and best loved? There are times Karl thought he no longer needs his supervision. Couldn't he be content with those things?  
  
Thomas's voice began to quiver, and his breath came in hitches. "And he said, 'Karl, I heard you were out here.' I-I didn't mean for it to happen! I knew he was looking for you, but the next thing I knew, I was kissing him, and he was kissing me back. And I fell in love with him. And he said he loved me! It all happened so fast."  
  
Surely hell couldn't be worse than this, Karl thought, biting his lip to keep it from trembling. It couldn't be worse than listening to a story that made him feel like a knife was twisting in his heart. Irvine had never told Thomas that he loved him. Why Thomas was so upset, he couldn't begin to guess. It seemed that once again, his brother had gotten what he wanted.  
  
Hands covered his brother's face that eventually wounded tightly to the scalp. His face was still bowed low, trying to avoid his wide green gaze. "After that, we started sneaking around to be together. I felt terrible about it, and so did Leon, but we couldn't stay away from each other. H-he wanted to tell you, and to cancel everything else. But I told him we couldn't do that you, that it would break your heart. You deserve some happiness in your life---Karl."  
  
Karl released his lip from his teeth when his jaw dropped; his breath left his lungs as though he'd been punched. "WHAT? You mean that you and Leon---- for last two weeks, Leon and you--?" He couldn't get enough air to finish his sentence. Here he believed that it was Irvine who'd swept Thomas off his feet, Irvine who loved him, but Leon?  
  
Thomas brought up his shaky green gaze and wiped it with his sleeve but it was a pointless exercise. The tears eventually came. "I know! I don't deserve to be your brother, I am a horrible person. I tried to stay away from him, but the harder I tried, the more I wanted to be with him. He was different when we were together. He listened to me, and wanted to know what I thought of things. He's very smart, but he is YOUR acquaintance. So tonight I sent him a note, asking him to meet me at the social hall so I could tell him good-bye and see him one last time before your departure. Then Irvine came by, and I saw Leon coming. When you showed up, I was afraid you'd guess the truth, so I tried to set-up Irvine and act like old time's sake."  
  
Stunned, the ashen blonde colonel slumped in his chair and stared at his brother.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Karl," Thomas grieved, gearing up for a fresh round of sobs. "I know I've made a mess of everything. Whatever are we going to do?"  
  
"Do?" he asked blankly, "There's nothing else we can do. It's too late to call off my resignation now. All the guests have been invited; even Moonbay had baked the refreshments." He sat up straight, his decision made.  
  
"We're going to do the proper thing."  
-Continued, finally going there ::does a happy dance:: !- 


	11. Final Chapter

Damn, I wish I was your lover  
  
By RaVen0us  
  
Note: A lot of OOCness ahead, short and precise---but still mushiness o.o I'm a sucker for happy endings *sweatdrops*  
  
|Raven and Van: What about OUR story?|  
  
|Ravenous: *eye twitch* OKAY!! I already had an ending; it's the middle part I'm confused at!|  
  
|Alter-ego, Ori: try putting Van in a French maid uniform. Does that inspires you?|  
  
|Ravenous: X_X; shut up, voice in my head---hey--hehehe|  
----  
  
Final Chapter  
  
Irvine sat at his worktable, trying to put the hammer back into an army revolver. This was a simple job, but the damned thing kept slipping. His frustration was such that he had to stop himself from hurling the entire work through the front window. Instead he dropped it on tabletop and rubbed his gritty eyes with the heels of his hands.  
  
He hadn't slept or eaten since Karl lured him out to the social hall yesterday to tell him of his decision. He still wasn't sure what part Thomas had to play in all of this. He couldn't imagine why he'd pretended that they were still lovers, but Karl had sure been quick to believe it. He'd seen it in his eyes, in his accusing, condemning expression. Then to invite him to the departure. A grim chuckle rumbled up from his chest. Nothing like pouring salt in the wound.  
  
After he'd left that happy scene, he walked aimlessly around town, trying to understand how the man who'd rested so easily and comfortably in his arms just as easily believed that he'd played him for a fool. He'd even gone to Schubaltz mansion last night, like a goddamned idiot, to try and talk to Karl, to tell him that Thomas made up the whole strange story. But he'd stood outside and knocked on the door for ten minutes, and no one answered. Not even when he called to the darkened windows. It was hard to believe that neither brother was home. Finally, he wondered what the use was, and walked out to the foothills beyond the mansion. From there, the little town looked peaceful as it slept under the blanket of night. No one would guess the trials and troubles that lay under those roofs.  
  
He put his elbows on the tabletop and rested his forehead in his hands. Maybe if he'd told him he loved him, he thought with an edge of desperation. He'd never told him that. Maybe he didn't know. It didn't matter now. Lease or no, once he finished the work he promised, he'd be moving on. He was looking for a home when he arrived here, and he could find another one.  
  
From outside he heard the muffled sound of celebration, and he wearily pushed himself to his feet to go see what was happening. It was good to get out of that chair; he'd sitting in it since he got back at three this morning and his legs felt dead.  
  
He wandered out of the sidewalk and glanced down the street. In Zi's name, the entire folk must be down there, he thought, as he watched the crowd move away from the hangar. Leon and his companion, in a gray decorated uniform dazzling in the summer sun, were surrounded by the throng of well- wishers. They were coming this way, he realized, probably on their way for the refreshments before they ride the whale king.  
  
Sighing, he went back inside, unable to endure the sight of the man he loved, a man he'd come to think of as his companion, lost forever to another man. He returned to his worktable, trying for the fifth time to put the damned hammer back in the army Colt. The party was passing the store, and Irvine kept his eyes on his work, trying to ignore the pain in his tight throat.  
  
Suddenly, the door to his shop swung open, and he looked up to see Karl standing before him. He looked so handsome, so radiant; it took him a moment to realize that he wasn't wearing gray, but violet. He rose from his chair again. Beyond the window, Thomas, in that different uniform, led the crowd on with companion----Leon?  
  
"W-what---" It was all he could manage.  
  
Karl laughed, weak with relief at seeing him again. "Irvine! Thank God you're here. When we couldn't find you last night, I was worried that you'd left. Will you come and have refreshments before the departure?"  
  
"What the hell is going on?" he demanded.  
  
The colonel came forward and took his hands. He looked so haggard and worn- out, his heart ached for him. This had been hard on all of them. "First you have to tell me that you forgive me for not believing you, and for jumping to the very worst conclusion."  
  
He still looked baffled. "Well, I guess---"  
  
"It must be true about the brooch the doctor gave me, Irvine. It worked for us and it for Thomas and Leon."  
  
"Karl, what are you talking about?"  
  
"You already know our part of it. Doctor Dee told me the brooch would draw my true love."  
  
Irvine nodded impatiently.  
  
"The night of the last social event at New Helix, Thomas borrowed the brooch and when he went outside under the full moon it drew Leon to him. Heavens, I even saw them in the shadows of the big oak and didn't realize who they were. I wish I had known." He said. "It could have saved us a lot of trouble. So they've been sneaking around for the last two weeks just like we were. That's why poor Tommy has been so miserable. He felt guilty and angry that he was in love with a man who was engaged to his brother."  
  
Irvine shook his head. "That doesn't really explain why he claimed that the two of us were involved."  
  
Karl squeezed his hands. "He'd sent a note to Leon, just like I sent a note to you, telling him to meet him there because he was going to tell him goodbye. But when we all got there, he thought he was protecting Leon by telling us that he's still interested with you. He came here to tell me about it last night. When I learned the truth, I looked everywhere for you. I even sent my men to scout the whole area. I was so afraid you'd left."  
  
"God, what a complicated mess." He muttered. "It makes my head hurt to think about it. So now what?"  
  
"Well," Karl said shyly, "now Thomas had taken up my leave and the journey with Leon. I'm staying here to do what I know best."  
  
Irvine leveled his gray gaze on him. The tone of his voice change subtly. "And what's that?"  
  
"Love you, and still continue to be an Imperial officer."  
  
He smiled at Karl, a rare, sweet poignant smile, "You know, I thought that maybe the reason you'd decided to go with Leon was because I'd never told you how much I love you. And for that, I'm sorry."  
  
He pulled the colonel into his arms and kissed him with the same tenderness, the same urgency, that he had that first night. Oh, how Karl missed the feel of his strong embrace, and the place on his shoulder where his cheek rested so well.  
  
Irvine backed up slightly and looked at his uniform. "I see you're wearing my favorite uniform."  
  
He raised his brows, "I haven't worn this for a long time, unless for special occasions. You've never seen it before."  
  
"Yes I have. I've unbuttoned it in my dreams lots of times."  
  
Karl gasped. "I had that dream, too."  
  
"Did you let me make love to you?" he murmured, removing his cap, then proceeds to kiss him tenderly to his throat.  
  
His voice was no more than a whisper. "I asked you to. But in my dream I wore a ring, and I was worried sick that I was engaged to Leon and committing adultery."  
  
"You were wearing a ring because you were engaged to me." He lifted the brooch to look at the stone. "And you've put this on again?" he asked.  
  
He couldn't help but laugh. "Who am I to argue with Midsummer's Eve magic?"  
@--}---THE END ---{--@  
  
o.o Huh, no lemon? 


End file.
